Bologna Sammich

The future Mrs Captain America

[Bologna Sammich @sam_peates]

"An axe. That takes me back" #addamsfamilyvalues

[Bologna Sammich @sam_peates]

I was late but caught up and those kids are all bloody lovely #jbo #jbofinal

[Bologna Sammich @sam_peates]

If people can marry inanimate objects - I would like to announce me and my electric blanket are thinking of registering for gifts @Argos_Online Date to be announced #bestrelationship

[Bologna Sammich @sam_peates]

My dog has been baking in his electric blanket and smells like #wotsits and it's the best. #lovehim

[Bologna Sammich @sam_peates]

Consumed own leg weight in unnecessary food but drank 3 glasses of water, so it's okay #balanced #christmasfood

[Bologna Sammich @sam_peates]

When you want your dad to do a sausage roll run for you but then remember he's clearing mice traps so best to not bug him. #sausagerollcraving #greasybrownbag #pastrydreaming

[Bologna Sammich @sam_peates]

Trying to figure out why the dog smells so bad after being washed and dried. Later on scratching his I ears realise one is quite heavy - flip it inside out to fund an ungodly amount of boar poo dried inside. God damn dog #minger #pooroller

[Bologna Sammich @sam_peates]

I will always beat my chest and "awooo" along with all the bunnies #wererabbit #wallaceandgromit

[Bologna Sammich @sam_peates]

I would rather be in the sewers cuddling rats than keep being shown #daisy by @marcjacobs adverts this time of year.

Can we sign a petition to stop this shite?

#perfumeads #Christmas

[Bologna Sammich @sam_peates]

The absolute irony in trying to use a pen from your wedding and its dried up and shit #offtorecycling #divorcedbtw

[Bologna Sammich @sam_peates]

How did I forget Paul Rudd was also in #romeoandjuliet @bbcthree_

[Bologna Sammich @sam_peates]

I bloody love this film but swear I see different versions/edits each time #robinhood #princeofhieves

[Bologna Sammich @sam_peates]

Series 1 episode 3. The first time #xfiles scared me.

[Bologna Sammich @sam_peates]

@Channel4 have all the #xfiles available to watch. This should keel me entertained for a bit...

[Bologna Sammich @sam_peates]

#Blade Wesley Snipes please come back for more of these films

[Bologna Sammich @sam_peates]

A vegan nightmare. When your milk "splits" in your hot drunk so you just stir it before each sip so you get it gone. #vegan #veganmilk #kettleisdownstairs

[Bologna Sammich @sam_peates]

I want to take my dog to a club. He loves music and dancing and we should not be confined to the house.

[Bologna Sammich @sam_peates]

@Georgeatasda you love a social. Here's one for you. Your phone line isn't allowing calls and cuts people off, I can't track a parcel as I haven't got a parcel number and my order has been split in 2 with 1 item awaiting collection and another somewhere in the UK. #help please

[Bologna Sammich @sam_peates]

This week I have mostly been eating sausages #thefastshow

[Bologna Sammich @sam_peates]

I'm already invested too much and I get my heart broke as much as these poor souls #MAFSUK