Sam

Bloody Mary defender

[Sam @sam_shoeman]

Brief list of things people often erroneously assume I am:
-6 feet tall
-matrilineally Jewish
-on SSRIs
-really into Radiohead
-possibly named Jacob
-in grad school

[Sam @sam_shoeman]

Attack attack walked so hyperpop could run

[Sam @sam_shoeman]

@AdamManson9 Where’s Mexico 2000

[Sam @sam_shoeman]

Coney Island pied-à-terre

[Sam @sam_shoeman]

And so what if sometimes I like it in Williamsburg

[Sam @sam_shoeman]

Thanks for sharing your decision with me. While I’m disappointed to not have been selected, I’m grateful to have been considered. Is there anything I can do differently to be a stronger candidate for supreme pontiff in the future?

[Sam @sam_shoeman]

Take it day by day. We can cross those streams when we have to pee

[Sam @sam_shoeman]

Not watching severance or white lotus

[Sam @sam_shoeman]

Italian singer Carey Gnocchi

[Sam @sam_shoeman]

Shaved my mustache if u even care…

[Sam @sam_shoeman]

Taking recreational antibiotics

[Sam @sam_shoeman]

getting to things on time is ruining my life

[Sam @sam_shoeman]

Massachusetts pros:
-Wellfleet oysters
-Emily Dickinson
-Boston (band)

Massachusetts cons:
-rubbery Dunkin’ bagels
-New England Patriots
-Boston (city)

[Sam @sam_shoeman]

“It’s plain to me to see you have bought yourself a boat / since the last time you and me spoke” remains the superlative mj lenderman couplet

[Sam @sam_shoeman]

Seeing a “here come dat boi” meme is my madeleine dipped in tea

[Sam @sam_shoeman]

Thanks mom

[Sam @sam_shoeman]

Fountains of Wayne Out-of-State Plates summer

[Sam @sam_shoeman]

🤞brat czar🤞

[Mayor Zohran Kwame Mamdani @NYCMayor]

Brat Summer 🤝 Summer of Possibility

[Sam @sam_shoeman]

We like to say New York is the Ho Chi Minh City of the US

[Sam @sam_shoeman]

a bar in Bushwick serves a cocktail with pepto bismol in it

[Malcolm Harris @BigMeanInternet]

What's something in the world you know you're directly responsible for but if you were to claim credit you'd sound crazy?

[Sam @sam_shoeman]

Everyone’s afraid to say it outright but the best hardcore drummers have an encyclopedic knowledge of—and deep attachment to—the Star Wars expanded universe