Sam Sweere

I peaked in 7th grade

[Sam Sweere @sam_sweere]

I collect amiibos man be real

[Ed Latimore @EdLatimore]

Something a lot of men don't like to admit:

All of your hobbies and ambitions are to attract women.

Nature doesn't care how much personal fulfillment you get from them. Those things are cool, but they're a coincidental positive externality to the prime objective:

To keep the species going.

[Sam Sweere @sam_sweere]

@ScottTheWoz Tapped into my rage just for you

[Sam Sweere @sam_sweere]

@chad_stavely @Cinema_Joe23 @jpweinstein27 Okay chad

[Sam Sweere @sam_sweere]

I’m live on Connors Twitch With Josh and Connor for the Oscars. It just got real.

https://t.co/6KXz93BzUf

[Sam Sweere @sam_sweere]

@jpweinstein27 Something tells me you aren’t gonna want to miss this @MrBeast @TheRock @IlhanMN

[Joshua Weinstein @jpweinstein27]

Big announcement Thursday…👀🍿🥤

[Sam Sweere @sam_sweere]

@ScottTheWoz

[Sam Sweere @sam_sweere]

@elonmusk Will you ever be participating?

[Sam Sweere @sam_sweere]

@Variety I feel the same way about fight choreography actually. What’s the point of it if you can’t actually be beaten and murdered? No spontaneity anymore. Actors lives should be ON. THE. LINE.

[Sam Sweere @sam_sweere]

@TheRock

[Sam Sweere @sam_sweere]

You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take

[Sam Sweere @sam_sweere]

The new Batman is so long because he has to collect all the riddler trophies

[Joshua Weinstein @jpweinstein27]

You’re telling me a HORSE drew this carriage????

[Sam Sweere @sam_sweere]

If your child naturally sounds like Young Sheldon you need to reevaluate who you are

[Sam Sweere @sam_sweere]

The https://t.co/My46Ey7uY4 algorithm used to hype my tweets up and now I’m a has been

[𝓢𝓲𝓻 𝓘𝓼𝓪𝓪𝓬 @KlNGSACK]

you guys know that movie ‘the wolf of wall street?’ the way i be eating, they should call it ‘the wolf of wahlburger’s’💪🏼🍔

[Sam Sweere @sam_sweere]

@jpweinstein27

[Sam Sweere @sam_sweere]

@catmaidmika :(

[Sam Sweere @sam_sweere]

As a child I thought dogcatchers played a far more crucial role in our society

[Sam Sweere @sam_sweere]

@KingSingh484 Late night