sam

I’m here for a long time not for a good time

[sam @samanshaa]

Women who say they are pro life are liars.

[sam @samanshaa]

When I feel depressed I like to sit at the bar of my local longhorn

[sam @samanshaa]

@elcapitanRC “Hi prettiest friend”

[sam @samanshaa]

Tonks is still afraid of fireworks in 2023

[sam @samanshaa]

@janeld1991 I swear to god I told my coworker this story like a week ago 🤣😂

[sam @samanshaa]

Tonks having dreams where she’s running would be way more adorable if her feet weren’t on my pillow repeatedly kicking me in the head

[sam @samanshaa]

My BIL made an album of my tweets paired with photos throughout our relationship and I’ve never loved anything more. January 2013 Sam didn’t know it was the yr she’d meet the bozo who’d marry her @kevindoc2 @notmikedoc

[sam @samanshaa]

Welp...

[sam @samanshaa]

@Danny_Frost_ I’m not kidding. She’s afraid of EVERYTHING. Tonks gets spooked by me laughing. Me gasping was next level upsetting for her🤣🤣🤣

[Jared Freid @jtrain56]

America’s overall response to covid can be summed up by a vaccination card that isn’t wallet sized.

[sam @samanshaa]

Kev and I were supposed to get married today but instead we brought Tonks to the groomer and she shit on the floor

[sam @samanshaa]

I checked Twitter today for the first time in quite some time and I can’t wait to continue to ~social distance~ my way away from a lot of bigoted asshats who belong in the 1930s. Or hell.

[sam @samanshaa]

@janeld1991 Poverty looked good on us

[sam @samanshaa]

I wish the people who live above us would die and I whole heartedly mean that

[sam @samanshaa]

@ebselicee @lakenkardashian Ohhh yikessss

[sam @samanshaa]

I love dogs so much

[sam @samanshaa]

@ralphhallLvr @Danny_Frost_ Ok junior. The noise of an idiot is far superior to the noise of a ventilator 🥰 enjoy junior.

[sam @samanshaa]

Can you guys believe people still defend Donny boy? Like y’all MAGA peeps need to find a hobby. Collect stamps. Knit. I mean all are a little bit pointless but at least the last two don’t make you look fuckin dumb.

[sam @samanshaa]

I hope the first thing joe does in office is fda ban whatever self tanner brand fat don uses