Keller Momma™

|𝚝𝚘 𝚕𝚒𝚟𝚎 𝚒𝚗 𝚘𝚋𝚎𝚍𝚒𝚎𝚗𝚌𝚎 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝙶𝚘𝚍 𝚒𝚜 𝚝𝚘 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚏𝚛𝚎𝚎𝚍𝚘𝚖 | 𝚖𝚘𝚖 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚛𝚎𝚎 |𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚙𝚒𝚕𝚢 𝚖𝚊𝚛𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚍 |

[Keller Momma™ @samanthagkeller]

Definition of Love.

[Ian Carroll @IanCarrollShow]

Anyone acting like a human neck stops a .30-06 is promoting a theory that relies on infinitesimal odds.

Before the repave, before the rifle in the pants, before the assemble reassemble, before discord messages after arrest, before lance twiggs disappearing, before George Zion’s child porn, before Erika’s fake tears and TPUSAs verified lies, before Mikey McCoys phone call and terryl’s selfie video, before the weird planes and the zero medical care, before they took the sd cards and cropped video that didn’t show the shot.

Before everything else- your theory rests on a .30-06 doing a magic bullet.

You’re welcome to die on that hill. But don’t pretend you’re the rational one.

You’re betting on something like .1% odds if we’re being generous and saying nothing else should even be considered.

[Keller Momma™ @samanthagkeller]

@martilane_ I tried to warn ya 🤪

[Keller Momma™ @samanthagkeller]

I love Sam Hunt but I had to look up kinfolks

[Keller Momma™ @samanthagkeller]

I still never got told the story of the birds and the bees and what it has to do with sex...

[Keller Momma™ @samanthagkeller]

I’m not a perfect momma.
My kids aren’t the same as your kids.

𝚂𝚘 𝚍𝚘𝚗𝚝 𝚓𝚞𝚍𝚐𝚎 𝚖𝚎 𝚘𝚛 𝚝𝚛𝚢 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚙𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚖𝚢 𝚜𝚒𝚝𝚞𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗, 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚔𝚜. 🙃

[Keller Momma™ @samanthagkeller]

Listen, if I’m out in public and you catch me raising my voice at my kids, don’t glare at me, just know I’m not a perfect mom and at the end of the day I’m raising good people. If I raise my voice, I have a good reason.

[Keller Momma™ @samanthagkeller]

@martilane_ I regret it every time mannnn

[Keller Momma™ @samanthagkeller]

I’m a little hard on myself but I just want my babies to look back at their childhood and say “that was the good ol’ days”

Ya know?

[Keller Momma™ @samanthagkeller]

@HALI_HOWARD STAHP! Thanks momma you too! #Glowing

[Keller Momma™ @samanthagkeller]

Me at 23: “I was so much prettier when I was younger”

Someone help me, I swear I’m getting uglier and I blame it solely on motherhood.

[Jay Nedaj @JayNedaj]

When you tell your bestfriend that your pregnant 😂😂😂

[Keller Momma™ @samanthagkeller]

#𝙼𝚢𝙷𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚢 🍯 http

[Keller Momma™ @samanthagkeller]

I swear, all my kids are vegan by choice. They never eat their meat but whatever, if it’s not meant to be oh well 🤷🏻‍♀️

[Keller Momma™ @samanthagkeller]

@savgoldstein Literally dying 😂😂😂

[gabs @GabbyPascalli]

If I didn’t reach out to people I would probably never hear from them... disappointing lol

[Keller Momma™ @samanthagkeller]

@savgoldstein Nathan is in VPK

[Keller Momma™ @samanthagkeller]

I just need time

[Keller Momma™ @samanthagkeller]

#ThingsOnlyMomsUnderstand Keep the car running and stay in it because both kids are passed out sleeping and you finally have a minute to just chill, listen to the radio and scroll on your phone in peace.

[Keller Momma™ @samanthagkeller]

At that point in pregnancy where i can’t sleep or breathe 🙂