sam

unh’20 | scorpio ♏️ | she/her

[sam @samanthap___]

I wish I could pin somebody else’s tweet

[Alice Wetterlund @alicewetterlund]

Why is the divorce rate among socks so high

[sam @samanthap___]

I haven’t fallen for a single simulated phishing attempt sent from my employer and yes this is my biggest accomplishment

[sam @samanthap___]

whoever chose the trix yogurt colors is an a+ marketer because every time I see a sunset I think of trix yogurt

[Cooper @Cooperstreaming]

Just for some context, these two are the same ages as Leonardo DiCaprio & his new girlfriend

[sam @samanthap___]

140 lbs is my goal weight LMAO

[sam @samanthap___]

@KendallRaeOnYT Cauliflower 🤢 (cauliflower crust pizza is gas tho)

[sam @samanthap___]

This is NUTS 🫣

[Delete MY Account @HamHock42]

The google searches found on the laptop used by the husband who *allegedly* killed his wife in Massachusetts recently are fuck all bananas

[sam @samanthap___]

I take chickpea and smash, I call it hummus

[sam @samanthap___]

just found out that ratatouille doesn’t pass the bechdel test 😔✊

[sam @samanthap___]

It’s the “Modeling and Escorting Services at Church” for me

[SheRatesDogs @SheRatesDogs]

Waiting for the Netflix doc

[The Broletariat @Scholf_A_Loaf]

“Spotify’s down? What am I supposed to listen to now?“

Women, my brother.

[sam @samanthap___]

@mapleweekend What a hot take

[sam @samanthap___]

@janelle_fields_ Thomas Bradis omfg I am deceased

[sam @samanthap___]

today’s wordle had me SWEATIN

Wordle 226 6/6

⬜⬜🟨⬜⬜
⬜⬜🟨⬜🟩
⬜🟩🟩🟩🟩
⬜🟩🟩🟩🟩
⬜🟩🟩🟩🟩
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

[sam @samanthap___]

@KendallRaeOnYT As someone from Boston I respectfully agree 😌✨

[out of context community @darkestimeline]

🤍

[Lexi @liddojolex]

Brian Laundrie was a fucking coward and died a coward.

[sam @samanthap___]

🥺

[Kendall Rae @KendallRaeOnYT]

Message from Gabby Petito’s family to Brian Laundrie’s family 😭💔 I cannot imagine how they are feeling… 😣😤

[Brené Brown @BreneBrown]

I believe you and I stand with you.