Walked out of the house to get ready to go for a run and a woman yells at me from across the street and says “youre my inspiration! I see you running down here all the time and think maybe ill get up and run with her sometime” and it was nice.
My 60 year old professor:
“If you wanna walk out the door right now, I don’t care. Im used to it in life.”
“I enjoy a good toe suck.”
“I’m just saying this based on what I’ve heard. I don’t know, I’ve never had sex.”
“Don’t email me while I’m having sex with my dog.”