Samantha Gonzales

Fight fire with your tears

[Samantha Gonzales @SamAshGon]

Currently jobmaxxing

[Samantha Gonzales @SamAshGon]

Jack Frost is a munch

[Samantha Gonzales @SamAshGon]

I have no one to send my John Kiriakou thirst traps to. No one truly understands me.

[Samantha Gonzales @SamAshGon]

Spelling ransom like handsome

[Samantha Gonzales @SamAshGon]

If anyone wants to win me back I will consider for some Le Labo Musc 25

[Samantha Gonzales @SamAshGon]

I love how Netflix reality shows just absolutely shit on the sanctity of marriage

[Samantha Gonzales @SamAshGon]

Life is so much better without a music snob in ur ear

[Samantha Gonzales @SamAshGon]

A cruise holds a demonic darkness you cannot perceive

[Samantha Gonzales @SamAshGon]

Had my sexual awakening during national treasure

[Samantha Gonzales @SamAshGon]

Whomever attempted to log into my account: reveal yourself coward

[Samantha Gonzales @SamAshGon]

Nick Cage is a Coppola?????

[Samantha Gonzales @SamAshGon]

Don’t kill urself u haven’t met ur hot Australian cruise boyfriend yet

[Samantha Gonzales @SamAshGon]

Comedian on the cruise ship called us hookers? Sir this top is from urban outfitters

[Samantha Gonzales @SamAshGon]

La Roux in LA “opening” for Hillary Duff tonight. Gagged. Gooped even.

[Samantha Gonzales @SamAshGon]

Nothing more confusing than an ugly guy that smells good

[Samantha Gonzales @SamAshGon]

Sorry babe, not in the mood tonight. CERN is shutting down.

[Samantha Gonzales @SamAshGon]

Zak Bagans? You mean Holly Madison’s ex? Her dating history is unmatched

[Samantha Gonzales @SamAshGon]

I am a deeply closeted gay man

[Samantha Gonzales @SamAshGon]

I genuinely peaked in my Mindfreak era

[Samantha Gonzales @SamAshGon]

Haven’t made a guy cry in a while and my whole world is off balance