Sam

[Nico Megachile @FuturamaFan3]

Me when my mom asked me what I wanted for Christmas in 2006

[fwoop @gracialabendiga]

this is top 5 songs of all time how did this fly past our radars

[𝐃𝐈𝐆𝐁 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 @_DIGB]

Looks like he’s off to confront Dumbledore in the Astronomy Tower

[felicity shagwell ੯‧̀͡⬮ ᡣ𐭩 @liIpochaco]

when u meet a bunch of new people and the friend who brought u says “everyone really loved you tonight btw”

[ඞ @lifeinchaos_]

having a job is cool but everydayyy???

[shitposter emeritus (on sabbatical) @jazzghost_pm]

It turns out eating almost all your meals at home does in fact save you a comical amount of money. Humbled to discover this

[Jack!!! @jjxstxrr]

clicking “open in app” and it brings you to the app store

[Morgan @8bitfunk]

Got too high and tried to do research

[“CLASSY” FRED BLASSIE @megantheevalium]

reading vitamin reviews. so real

[danlet @evildanevil]

When the dentist asks u if a totally random date an entire year from now works for u

[Jack 🇦🇹 @JackS83_]

It must be bad even the clocks running away

[Toby Tarrant @tobytarrant]

Just seen some 14 year olds smoking cigarettes instead of vapes

Won't lie to you I got a bit misty-eyed

Who's cutting onions?

Nature is healing ❤️❤️

[trevy @chillextremist]

Nah cuz it lowkey might be bedtime soon

[bailey @Baileymoon15]

at a party and there’s a cat hiding in the bedroom

[Bdubbya 🇺🇸🇩🇿 @REALtalk4uHATER]

He moves like a 40 pound toddler with a full diaper.