sampson

intergalactic space cat

[sampson @samcpayne]

if i had a dollar for every time i got tipped a single chicken strip at work i’d only have 2$ but it is a weird thing to happen twice

[sampson @samcpayne]

Chicken wing thing happened again.

[sampson @samcpayne]

if i had a dollar for every time i got tipped a single chicken strip at work i’d only have 2$ but it is a weird thing to happen twice

[sampson @samcpayne]

you could take life seriously. or you could be high as fuck on mushrooms in a national park.

[sampson @samcpayne]

Happy blackout Wednesday to all that celebrate! I hope you don’t have to see your ex in your home town, but good luck if you do!

[sampson @samcpayne]

Sitting here trying to chug an old fashioned and it feels like a war crime

[sampson @samcpayne]

“Ya sure you can hit the dab pen, just taste like an email”
What 😭

[sampson @samcpayne]

Caught 2 mice this week. Proud.

[sampson @samcpayne]

@ihatethiskid The lore behind this goes crazy.

[sampson @samcpayne]

Just shotgunned a full sugar Red Bull. We are about to have a day. Too early to tell which kind.

[sampson @samcpayne]

take it easy, ur number isn’t even saved

[melissa broder @melissabroder]

not now, i just remembered i’m born to die

[🦂 @leeverze]

at the bar googling shit like “how to stay strong & let go”

[meghan @deloisivete]

My husband is out of town, but the cupboard doors are still open, so now I have to face some hard truths about myself

[holiday cheermeister @gardeinqueen]

does anyone know at what point in my adulthood i’ll stop feeling like i’m In Trouble all the time

[sampson @samcpayne]

I feel like this series must continue

[sampson @samcpayne]

Falling asleep with food in my hand. A series.

[sampson @samcpayne]

@wildcatBrodie Id kill someone to be back in this

[sampson @samcpayne]

@Jandies1 Completely valid take

[sampson @samcpayne]

If your dishes get overwhelming you can always just throw them away and get new ones! You’ll never regret throwing them away and getting new ones