sam

a voice of a generation

[sam @samdilsheimer]

This is what the big tattoo guy with a heartwarming backstory serves on chopped

[Chelsea Peretti @chelseaperetti]

wud u dine at this fake restaurant

[forbiden widsom @powcampsurvivor]

so what we get drunk
so what we smoke weed
we’re just having fun
lois meg stewie

[Bitchy Witch @TraderGoys]

That time Wolf Blitzer and Scheana Shay were on Watch What Happens Live together

[Malala Yousafzai @Malala]

GO BIRDS 🦅

[sam @samdilsheimer]

Can’t do this if ur Jewish. Schwartz and adleman is probably the best law firm in Roslyn though

[sympathetic opposition @sympatheticopp]

the most feminist naming convention is the southern rich one where girls first names are their great grandmother's maiden names so at marriage they changed their last/dad/male family name, but keep their distaff family name

[alexis is #Gone @miss_flawIess]

Today we will be removing our names and replacing it with big ang

Kid named samantha:

[sam @samdilsheimer]

@draineryves They can’t do cartoons because of copyright, thorgy tried to do Marge Simpson season 8 and wasn’t allowed. Sucks bc I would love to see someone do Stewie griffin lol

[Meredith Marks @MeredithMarks0]

My only regret is that we weren’t bumping that… MM caviar!!! 💖💖 xxxx

[sam @samdilsheimer]

@LinkofSunshine I met her in a bar bathroom at the beginning of her transition, she’s lovely

[Club Chalamet 💫 @ClubChalamet]

Get in line.

[sam @samdilsheimer]

@jjfrgyy @ohiojesustwink her real name is susan, she named herself sigourney after a character in the great gatsby. don't play about my girl.

[wet dog @russianmomm]

this is my bible

[sam @samdilsheimer]

@zachsmitty She joined the show so she would be able to make her own money and divorce him

[Jarett Wieselman @JarettSays]

There has never been a better sentence

[my name is Specter @S0L0SIS]

hes so cute with his hat on his broom

[carl 🥦 @NightlifeMingus]

(“Eleanor Rigby”)
matcha labubu
clairo pilates and chocolate dubai
performative guy

[Club Chalamet 💫 @ClubChalamet]

@robrrie Believe in yourself. Trust your gut instinct. Be transparent. Live.🫶🏽

[Meg @megannn_lynne]

something very chic about crying while driving….have to keep it a little classy so you don’t crash….other drivers unaware a diva is down in the next lane over….

[vivian @blewmarine]

when life gets so bad u have to focus on pilates and female friendship