Dude McBroguy

My tweets should be stored in a museum for future generations to enjoy
`Philosopher/Poet/Genius

[Dude McBroguy @samepainjame]

When you're at bae's and her dad comes home by surprise

[Dude McBroguy @samepainjame]

Today I had to witness a fat girl trip and fall down a set of stairs...

...Steps are some of the most deadly problems they must deal with

[Dude McBroguy @samepainjame]

Say I'm the only bee in your bonnet.

[Dude McBroguy @samepainjame]

Join the JCPenney's Boycott, RT this to spread awareness. Don't shop there, they're bastards #JCPenneyBoycott

[Dude McBroguy @samepainjame]

When you just tweeted fire but realized you misspelled a word

[Dude McBroguy @samepainjame]

thirsty hoes be like

[Dude McBroguy @samepainjame]

Girl: How do you like your coffee, sir?

Kip: Girl, you know how I like it, just like my women, tall, black and hot.

[Dude McBroguy @samepainjame]

Walter: Who's that?
Jesse: Don't worry, it's Saul Goodman
Walter: It's not all good man, I need to know who that is!
Jesse: Biiitch!

[Dude McBroguy @samepainjame]

When you read the comments on youtube

[Dude McBroguy @samepainjame]

Do whores call their 'private parts' their public parts?

[Dude McBroguy @samepainjame]

@FemaleTexts you know the difference between my dick and a school bus? my dick- wait no

[Dude McBroguy @samepainjame]

theres no judgement here krabs

[Dude McBroguy @samepainjame]

When someone cuts your head off and glues you to a tortoise

[Dude McBroguy @samepainjame]

Amazing new revolutionary technology allowing spydars and cats to finally be able to talk!! real AF

[Dude McBroguy @samepainjame]

When you get called down to the office and you know you did some serious shit but you try to keep it cool anyway

[Dude McBroguy @samepainjame]

Dwight will go to any measure to see the booty...

[Dude McBroguy @samepainjame]

When you watch a horror film and bae touches your hand...

....but it wasn't bae's hand.....

.....it was a ghost

[Dude McBroguy @samepainjame]

Guy: Woah are you Medusa?

Girl: Why, cause I make you rock hard?

Guy: No cause you're the ugliest thing I ever seen

[Dude McBroguy @samepainjame]

@Coincidence @PieroR14 so you're telling me Kennedy was elected when he was 21? pfft who wrote this lie?

[Dude McBroguy @samepainjame]

Guy: You kinda remind me of a cheeto...cause you're flaming hot

Girl: You kinda remind me of a cheeto too...cause you're, CHHeeeesaay!!

[Dude McBroguy @samepainjame]

@Alchemic_heart4 I don't mind