sam epstein 🧙🏻‍♀️

time is money, money is power, power is pizza, pizza is knowledge // she/her

[sam epstein 🧙🏻‍♀️ @samepstein19]

i'm just a girl

standing in front of a microwave

eating shredded cheese while her pasta heats up

[sam epstein 🧙🏻‍♀️ @samepstein19]

@katherinethegr8 you're 100% correct (in both the original tweet and that it's the funniest thing you've ever tweeted)

[sam epstein 🧙🏻‍♀️ @samepstein19]

there are four things about me that are universally true:

1. i love lego
2. i love snacks
3. i have adhd
4. i live in constant fear that i’ll mix up my hands and put the snack on the lego and the lego in my mouth

[sam epstein 🧙🏻‍♀️ @samepstein19]

@wornwhite your initial assessment was correct. SUCH a good one i’m obsessed omg

[sam epstein 🧙🏻‍♀️ @samepstein19]

thor ragnarok

[eric eidelstein @ericeidelstein]

You're dating someone new and you have the opportunity to show them one movie that encompasses everything there is to know about you — your values, your fantasies, and your fears. What's the film?

[sam epstein 🧙🏻‍♀️ @samepstein19]

@dianefranceTM @sf_renee me three!!

[sam epstein 🧙🏻‍♀️ @samepstein19]

@sf_renee i do!! but it could be bc someone taught me to knit whereas i tried to teach myself crochet 😂

[sam epstein 🧙🏻‍♀️ @samepstein19]

@sf_renee i bought crochet needles and gave up after one day. i use them to peel clementines now 😂

[Dani Donovan 👩🏻‍🎨 ADHD Comics @danidonovan]

the ADHD urge to fill up a water bottle and only drink 3 sips

[sam epstein 🧙🏻‍♀️ @samepstein19]

@katherinethegr8 i literally cannot imagine

[Elmo @elmo]

Will the weekend go by slower if Elmo hangs out with a turtle?

[Matt Bellassai @MattBellassai]

not to be dramatic but harry styles performing with shania twain is what brought jesus back from the dead

[sam epstein 🧙🏻‍♀️ @samepstein19]

@SEp1924 @BryanHoch stop making me relive the trauma

[sam epstein 🧙🏻‍♀️ @samepstein19]

i always tell people considering one that this feature alone is worth the price of the watch 😂

[Akilah Hughes @AkilahObviously]

Maybe more people would buy Apple watches if they highlighted their most important feature (being able to ask it where your iPhone is and having it automatically ping)

[sam epstein 🧙🏻‍♀️ @samepstein19]

@CTCTHelp y’all i am trying to keep my cool but i’m at my wits end. my company has been having SERIOUS issues sending emails, and no one we’ve talked to has helped. i just went to live chat and try again to explain what’s going on, but now your live chat isn’t working either.

[Sesame Street @sesamestreet]

Sleep tight Slimey! Don't let the Twiddlebugs bite! 😴

[sam epstein 🧙🏻‍♀️ @samepstein19]

Daily Quordle #62
7️⃣6️⃣
5️⃣1️⃣
⬜⬜🟨⬜⬜ 🟨🟩⬜⬜⬜
⬜⬜⬜⬜🟨 ⬜🟩⬜⬜🟨
🟨🟨⬜⬜⬜ 🟨⬜⬜⬜⬜
⬜⬜⬜⬜🟨 ⬜⬜⬜⬜🟨
⬜⬜⬜⬜🟨 ⬜⬜🟨⬜🟨
⬜⬜🟨⬜🟩 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 ⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛

⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜ 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩
⬜⬜⬜⬜🟩 ⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛
⬜⬜⬜🟩🟩 ⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛
🟩⬜⬜🟩🟩
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

!!!!!!

[sam epstein 🧙🏻‍♀️ @samepstein19]

@katherinethegr8 @astoldbyangela_ make it a snapple and same kath!!

[sam epstein 🧙🏻‍♀️ @samepstein19]

Wordle 269 2/6

🟨🟨🟩⬛🟩
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

MY FIRST TWO!!!!!!! finally!!!!!!!

[sam epstein 🧙🏻‍♀️ @samepstein19]

@sf_renee costco is the happiest place on earth!!!