Samer

do no harm. take no shit.

[XBOX @XBOX]

What kind of sorcery is this?

Follow & RT with #DoctorStrangeXboxSweepstakes for a chance to win an Xbox Series S themed from @DrStrange in the Multiverse of Madness and four controllers themed after the movie's characters.

Ages 18+. Ends 5/18/22. Rules: https://t.co/m3Qsjc4z3R

[Samer @samerabusway]

I, too, agree to a $30 million / year contract with the Lakers and they too do not agree

[NBA Memes @NBAMemes]

BREAKING: Dennis Schroder has agreed to a 4-year $120 million deal with the Lakers, but the Lakers did not agree, sources tell ESPN

[Samer @samerabusway]

Now that the stimmys are out can we talk about my student loan forgiveness @JoeBiden

[Samer @samerabusway]

@DoorDash can I get my 2020 year in review? Thanks

[Samer @samerabusway]

@DoorDash you should send year in reviews like Spotify Wrapped to tell me how much takeout I had this year

[Samer @samerabusway]

@TargetStation5 It’s live

[Samer @samerabusway]

Chapter 4 of my memoir will be called “Coffee as a meal replacement”

[Samer @samerabusway]

*unmutes to fake laugh at a work joke that wasn’t funny*

[Samer @samerabusway]

I know Alexander Hamilton cheated but has anyone noticed Eliza’s first born looks EXACTLY like John Laurens??!

[Samer @samerabusway]

Trying to see who my real friends are: If you see me in a fight with a grizzly bear, you would

[Microsoft @Microsoft]

This meeting could've been an email.

[Samer @samerabusway]

Side hustle influence from Tik Tok

[Samer @samerabusway]

Venmo me $2 and I will comment “not your best look” on an Instagram post of your choice

[Samer @samerabusway]

@daniaabdulhamid This is real, this is me

[Samer @samerabusway]

Does anyone know the engineer who perfected Instagram ads so well that literally everything I see I feel the need to buy? (like the $30 I just dropped on a coloring kit) - I just want to talk

[Samer @samerabusway]

“Hey your voice is breaking up”
Me: *does absolutely nothing different*
Me: “can you hear me now?”
“Yes that’s much better thank you”

[Samer @samerabusway]

People saying they’re going to tell their grandkids 2020 was a crazy year. Where those grandkids coming from? Only grandkids you having are on a shared Sims account with someone you met in your Zoom class

[Paramind @paramindbeats]

here’s my version of #CoronavirusRhapsody

[Samer @samerabusway]

Lunch dessert hits different when you have your entire freezer stocked with ice cream