Sam Falls

I'm Sam. Mostly jokes, sometimes haikus, occasionally crushing sadness.

[Sam Falls @samfalls777]

Welp, this aged poorly.

[Sam Falls @samfalls777]

If @neilhimself, @RealGDT, and @pattonoswalt just sat around and talked about monsters and comics and shit, the internet would explode. I would sell my soul for that podcast.

[Sam Falls @samfalls777]

@dev_lemons can you cover Colleen Ballinger's horrible apology song in Eminem's voice pls?

[Sam Falls @samfalls777]

@Lillygotdembuns Have you seen the movie Underwater?

[Sam Falls @samfalls777]

Despite all my rage, I am still just a rat piloting a chef.

[Sam Falls @samfalls777]

Using tail butt plugs for flag football.

[Sam Falls @samfalls777]

@laineonline Wholesome

[Sam Falls @samfalls777]

@elonmusk Oh damn well ya just fucked that up, cuz now if we taunt you for getting ratio'd, it's technically kink-shaming.

[Sam Falls @samfalls777]

@laineonline Thank you. Yes.

[Sam Falls @samfalls777]

Pick me up and shake me until I die please.

[Sam Falls @samfalls777]

@EthanSchmidtFan You walk like a toddler who just went potty all by himself for the first time.

[Sam Falls @samfalls777]

You're being a moderate to severe pain in my ass.

[Sam Falls @samfalls777]

They told me it's impossible to sleep on Adderall because it makes you so focused. Well I just channeled all that focus into falling asleep and now I'm lucid dreaming like it's an Olympic sport and I'm goin for gold babyy.

[Sam Falls @samfalls777]

Gordon Ramsay: [Screams critique loudly]
Fainting goat: [Faints]
Gordon Ramsay: [Tosses his hands into the air and sighs, exasperated]

[Sam Falls @samfalls777]

@jasminericegirl Hulu and do me

[Sam Falls @samfalls777]

@nickisnotgreen I'd watch you play Elden Ring fs. Like multiple playthroughs and shit.

[Sam Falls @samfalls777]

@Lillygotdembuns Sometimes I honestly think it's a pretty radical mindset to think a single, regular dose of any drug could permanently ruin your brain. Bath salts maybe. Meth, yeah I guess. But one dose of shrooms giving you eternal madness...nah that's fucking cap.

[Sam Falls @samfalls777]

I place my hands into my mouth and rip my head open to reveal I was being piloted by a Furby this whole time.

[Sam Falls @samfalls777]

@knifepit I woke up from a falling dream around 2 years old. That's one of the reasons why I changed my name to Falls

[Sam Falls @samfalls777]

@ZullieTheWitch I miss them.

[Sam Falls @samfalls777]

@Lillygotdembuns I'm sCREAMIING