Sam

[Sam @SamFletcherson]

@MarshallHenry66 @2147mill Gumtree advert, honestly thought the mileage was a typo until I checked the MOT history, viewed it the next day and drove away with it, very happy with it

[Sam @SamFletcherson]

@MarshallHenry66 @2147mill I bought a Jaguar XF S 2009 with only 15k miles for 4500 quid, it had been garaged pretty much its whole life as the previous owner was old. Pretty rare to find things like this but they are out there. Also to note I've had it over a year and nothing has gone wrong (touch wood)

[Jeremy Clarkson @JeremyClarkson]

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.
There’s been a massive cock up and as a result, there’s a very slim chance, some of our Hawkstone CIDER bottles might, there’s no easy way of saying this, explode. If the cap has the code L3160, open it underwater, pour it away and get in touch for a refund. [email protected]
Really sorry about this but on the upside, the beer is fine and still delicious. As is the cider, in bottles that are unaffected. Which is almost all of them.

[Donald J. Trump @realDonaldTrump]

Very good news to receive the warm and productive statement from North Korea. We will soon see where it will lead, hopefully to long and enduring prosperity and peace. Only time (and talent) will tell!

[Elon Musk @elonmusk]

Tesla Goes Bankrupt
Palo Alto, California, April 1, 2018 -- Despite intense efforts to raise money, including a last-ditch mass sale of Easter Eggs, we are sad to report that Tesla has gone completely and totally bankrupt. So bankrupt, you can't believe it.

[ITV News @itvnews]

Gallery: New Zealanders put forward bizarre submissions for new national flag http://t.co/oeDT98RHru

[Bryan Cranston @BryanCranston]

Wow. Now check this out: a Heisenberg Pharmacist. Where will I - I mean, he, turn up next? It's like Where's Walto?

[Sam @SamFletcherson]

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[Burger King @BurgerKing]

┳┻|
┻┳|
┳┻|
┻┳|
┳┻|
┻┳|
┳┻| _
┻┳| •.•) You say BK?
┳┻|⊂/
┻┳|

[Sam @SamFletcherson]

@SlugEyesJerry wetherspoons at Birmingham airport is life

[Sam @SamFletcherson]

Seeya Coseley #movingday

[Jeremy Clarkson @JeremyClarkson]

I didn't think my day at work could get any better....

[James May @MrJamesMay]

I just opened a bag of Jelly Tots and put the whole lot in me gob in one go. #Trippin

[Sam @SamFletcherson]

Try to beat my Highscore: 20420 in awesome 2048 Number puzzle game for android @ http://t.co/0B40OprfWE

[Top Gear @BBC_TopGear]

Based on the 12C, inspired by the P1: meet #McLaren's harder, faster new supercar, the 650S http://t.co/2vXd2uCzOO

[Sam @SamFletcherson]

@PenguiniAnon getting that shit trending

[Jeremy Clarkson @JeremyClarkson]

Holy cow. Walter White is doing the weather forecast.

[Rob DenBleyker @RobDenBleyker]

Weird coincidence? Brian Griffin got hit by a car, Paul Walker crashed a car, and Nelson Mandela choked on a Hot Wheels. Makes u think...

[James May @MrJamesMay]

I rode a Triumph 675,
I drove an orange Zonda, but
The inner temple of my heart
Is just for Little Honda.

#KillMe