Sam Hellyer

I am Sam Hellyer, I am not a Sommelier... I'm much much more awesome.

[Sam Hellyer @samhellyer]

https://t.co/d4m1IoDHVj

[Harley Wines @HarleyWines]

Our head of security is guarding the first wave of our Uruguayan samples to arrive for @londonwinefair Stand F111.

[Harley Wines @HarleyWines]

Sales manager @samhellyer Selling wine on @BBC6Music 's #TShirtDay The sparkly Gene T-shirt sees daylight once again!

[Sam Hellyer @samhellyer]

@AdamBuxton heard this and thought you could have written it... potential cover version? https://t.co/bV1E76biVL

[Sam Hellyer @samhellyer]

Later than planned, might move to very other week for this. http://t.co/7LCjQ9sG7N part two of my short story.

[Sam Hellyer @samhellyer]

@puresock Awwww, me wantie!

[Sam Hellyer @samhellyer]

Cows don't have passports. #liesaboutcows

[Sam Hellyer @samhellyer]

Shitty customer service of the week number 2 from @ElectricStudio this time. Do not expect to be berated when asking for a quote.

[Sam Hellyer @samhellyer]

I genuinely can't believe the terrible customer service from @WorldStoresUK. If I pay for Saturday delivery I want it delivered on Saturday.

[Sam Hellyer @samhellyer]

Having made a list of things to do for work today I've realised, I've got 26 problems... but you know what? A bitch aint one!

[Sam Hellyer @samhellyer]

The Cowfeil tower was built by a French cow in 1822, but he had the design upside down, so it extends 300 meters underground. #liesaboutcows

[Sam Hellyer @samhellyer]

Cows are genetically identical to Christmas. #liesaboutcows

[Sam Hellyer @samhellyer]

Today I heard the most incredible thing; Johnny Cash was a guest star in a episode of Columbo! I have to find that episode.

[Sam Hellyer @samhellyer]

There once was an ugly duckling, it's fleece was white as snow and everywhere that Mary went a cow jumped over the moon.

[Sam Hellyer @samhellyer]

Washing up done, bread baking, laundry on, dinner bubbling away... I'm a fucking domestic goddess! Right, time to blast some aliens...

[Sam Hellyer @samhellyer]

I think my sat nav is possessed by the spirit of a 1920's rambling enthusiast... It's the only explanation I have for the routes it chooses.

[Sam Hellyer @samhellyer]

The average cow is above average. #liesaboutcows

[Sam Hellyer @samhellyer]

Cows know when you are sleeping and know when you're awake. It does them no good, but once a year Santa employs them. #liesaboutcows

[Sam Hellyer @samhellyer]

One of the many awesome things about my baby is that when I come home very late and try to be a tipsy-ninja she cuts me a lot of slack.

[Sam Hellyer @samhellyer]

We milk cows, cows milk elephants, elephants milk whales, whales milk krill, krill milk fleas, fleas milk cats, cats milk us. #liesaboutcows

[Sam Hellyer @samhellyer]

All cows are left hand drive. Use caution when overtaking. #liesaboutcows