Sam

i’m tired

[elephant @trunkincrisis]

wtf???

[Mothafucka Jones @Jami3_420]

That’s the strangest shadow I’ve ever seen

[Noah Garfinkel @NoahGarfinkel]

How I train my dragon is, frankly, none of your business.

[𐕣🧛🏾 @doyenmxn]

I don’t even fuck around and I still be finding out

[trash jones @jzux]

“I asked chatGPT” “I asked grok” I asked god to strike me dead with lightning

[trash jones @jzux]

iced coffee on an empty stomach when you’re already kind of in a weird mood

[cici 🎀 @loveeestained]

team snapchat needs to let me block them

[jcruz - get the cans in @DecruzJemma]

Best doughnuts. People that eat them custard ones need sectioning

[alli @sonofalli]

it’s now socially acceptable again to clap when the plane lands

[knx @knoxdotmp3]

truly a sick and twisted children's movie

[nick ✨ @nicckoftimee]

Her to thanos, “but the gag is you pushed your daughter off a cliff for power”

[jame @kloogans]

stupid fucking sponge keeps failing his driving test

[Hustlanani @hustlanani]

I don’t play about my nonverbal time

[nakhraj @KlNGSJESTER]

feel like pure shite, just want him back x
#TheTraitors

[Mr. Meat Scraps @ReallyLoudFart]

My corpse will still be farting long after I'm dead

[Michael King @MiichaelKing]

I love being on Twitter whilst The Masked Singer is on, seeing people tweet with their full chest that they think the likes of Sabrina Carpenter, Pink or Alicia Keys are going to be dressed as a Pufferfish at 7pm on ITV.

[Getlucky @Getlucky12341]

By age 26 you should have:

• Built a rocket
• Fought a mummy
• Climbed up the eiffel tower
• Discovered something that doesn't exist
• Given a monkey a shower

[Will @WillM_20]

Really hope his middle name is What