sam

funnier in person

[marmot @MarmotRespecter]

what a beautiful day to hop on 9 quick calls and not get any work done

[a midsummer nightmare @unhingedcatboi]

you just wipe down the kitchen counter everyday until you die

[Phillip @MajorPhilebrity]

Chick Fil A now open Sundays for Drag Brunch

[ash @ashtoberr]

we're gonna wrap mitch mcconnell in tinfoil and put him in the microwave

[emilia 🍒🥇🏆🛡️ @lexiescarina]

these are unfortunately the exact conditions for a glee reboot

[Lukas Battle @lukasbattle]

Kansas get ready to learn what a polycule is

[Imagine Dragons Hate Account. @_21Average_]

If Morgan Wallen is in your Spotify Wrapped this year you’re getting sent to Guantanamo Bay

[j 🂱 @niteshifts]

friend told me he felt weird about a new girl he’s seeing because instead of just trying to sleep with her he wants to protect her and get to know her and i had to inform him he’s never respected a woman before

[isa ☆ @isabelsrevenge]

u dumb ass hoes reposting cornell 7 but went to see chris brown not too long ago

[Catty @CatWomaniya]

35k likes. 35k rapists.

[⋆⁺₊⋆ jessica ☾ ⋆⁺₊⋆ 🍉 @ItsMrsRabbitToU]

Dudes couldn’t shut up about Lindsay Clancy but quiet af about Cornell University

[Czarina @fishontherun02]

Last year I saw a video of a Palestinian father frantically carrying the dismembered remains of his child’s body in a plastic shopping bag, desperately trying to get them to a hospital

[beck @unrivaled]

this attack on our best and brightest 80 year olds... they were just fucking kids

[Kyle @KYLEWILDFERN]

The cancellation of Zoey 101 made me pro abortion

[hani @crucifynisis]

“do it scared” i do everything scared because i dont have a relaxed nervous system and it always feels like im held at gunpoint

[Moira Donegan @MoiraDonegan]

When the August heat is at its most punishing, and hunger has you and your partner bickering up to the edge of divorce, it is then, in that darkest hour, that God will task you with transferring to the J at Fulton.

[bunny @fadedbunny]

5 seconds into seeing my homegirl and my life is fixed #thepoweroffriendship

[Nova 💫 @TheNovaPlayss]

can’t help but notice the lack of color here