Sam LiButti

Los Angeles, CA. Stand Up Comic. Writer for @realpunknews @HardDriveMag & The Inner Loop. @samlibutti : ig

[Sam LiButti @samlibutti]

INJURY UPDATE: 49ers Jed York Out For 6 Weeks (Prostitution)

[ESPN @espn]

49ers owner Jed York has been suspended for six games and fined $500,000 for violating the NFL's personal conduct policy stemming from his August arrest on suspicion of engaging in prostitution in Ohio. https://t.co/GMcG0mnNZK

[Sam LiButti @samlibutti]

Jed York Busted In Prostitution Sting, And Also Was Arrested

[Mario Nawfal @MarioNawfal]

🇺🇸 San Francisco 49ers owner Jed York was arrested in a prostitution sting in East Palestine, Ohio.

Police say he answered an undercover online ad, used the name Joe, and agreed to pay $160 for an hour.

Officers stopped him at a mobile home park on August 23 and found cash in the rental SUV.

The prostitution charge was later dropped to disorderly conduct. He entered a no-contest plea, got one day in jail already served, and a $1,150 fine.

The NFL is reviewing it under the personal conduct policy. York has not spoken publicly.

Writer: Sol

[Sam LiButti @samlibutti]

Heard some guy say “that sounds gay to be frank” and my brain immediately lit up and told me to tweet that singing Gay To Be Frank to the tune of Hip To Be Square would be funny. End of update, ty for listening.

[Sam LiButti @samlibutti]

Are none of our sacred institutions safe from Donald Trump?

[Sam LiButti @samlibutti]

Do you think Anthony Fantano was mad about Halsey going through chemo because it gave her a more valid reason for being bald?

[Sam LiButti @samlibutti]

I’ll take a big shit and then judge dudes who look like they weigh what I weighed before I took the shit #fatonfatcrime

[Sam LiButti @samlibutti]

Going to hardcore shows and tapping everyone in the pit on the shoulder and asking them if they can move the pit over one foot so I can see better

[Sam LiButti @samlibutti]

Just woke up from a dream where Shaquille O’Neal was driving me to the smokeshop to buy Kratom

[Sam LiButti @samlibutti]

Me: God people are so Tribalistic, what a silly instinct

Also me: I hope a plane carrying the Dallas Cowboys crashes directly into a field containing the entire Philadelphia Eagles organization

[Sam LiButti @samlibutti]

November should be reserved for one last chance to enjoy stuff like pumpkin patches without the threat of a theatre kid in a mask yelling at you
Haunted houses should be converted to cozy fall houses where each room features progressively larger and more alarming cornucopias

[Sam LiButti @samlibutti]

There’s this weird period in like the 80s and 90s where in a movie if a person is holding a cell phone, it means they are a complete piece of shit who hates their kids.

[Sam LiButti @samlibutti]

Just saw #HIM & if they want to realistically show how someone like Patrick Mahomes gets his power the twist at the end should be that it’s a cult of biased referees

[Sam LiButti @samlibutti]

I’m trying to figure out how I can make a meme of the rizzler posted up with the sniper just waddling away at an immense pace outrunning the fbi

[Sam LiButti @samlibutti]

@pentheking It’s a worked beer can shot to promote a wrestling match. This kid is old enough to know that wrestling isn’t real. No excuse for being a dumbass and killing someone because you’re stupid

[Sam LiButti @samlibutti]

@FinalBossXL Yeah I’m not taking his word for this and even if that’s true, if you’re 25 years old you’re old enough to know that 15 all out below shots to the head of an unconscious man can kill him. No excuse

[Sam LiButti @samlibutti]

@Attractantz He did a worked move on him to promote a wrestling match. Don’t comment unless you know wrestling. This kid had too much of an ego to not realize it’s not fucking real just like you, because you’re the same type of dipshit. He should be locked up being an idiot is not an excuse

[Sam LiButti @samlibutti]

I’d like to welcome you all to the 10th annual meeting of the Pedophile Defeaters Squad, as you know we have just elected our new leader

Pedophile “has sex with children” Rapeington

[Sam LiButti @samlibutti]

Tim Robinson is the angel on your shoulder telling you the jack off, Connor O’Malley is the devil on your other shoulder telling you to jack on in an entirely different more devious way

[Sam LiButti @samlibutti]

A fitting tribute 🫡

[Sam LiButti @samlibutti]

#HulkHogan Dies Doing What He Loved, Over Shadowing Other More Talented People