Sammi Jo

Lover. Awkward person. Not a hugger.

[Karen Attiah @KarenAttiah]

The way women of all races and nationalities are coming together and roasting men with #BoyMath just might be the intersectional feminist moment we needed, lol.

[Sammi Jo @SammoJiS]

Me: Universe, am I lonely? Maybe I need attention.

Universe: *sends literally any human interaction*

Me: ...Not like that.

[Sammi Jo @SammoJiS]

Did you know you can use Twitter sober? I mean I haven't in years, but here we are.

[Sammi Jo @SammoJiS]

Well. It's a good thing we have bolt cutters. @Moosewerk

[Syrin @SpicySyrin]

How are we gunna smoke all this weed without bolt cutters? #soberthots

[Sammi Jo @SammoJiS]

"DIE DOING WHAT YOU LOVE! BEING GAY AF" @Moosewerk

[Sammi Jo @SammoJiS]

Mohawk made of snakes

[Sammi Jo @SammoJiS]

You: has sex dreams
Me: has dreams where we go on a date while my brain screams "OH NO OH NO OH NO"

We are not the same.

[Sammi Jo @SammoJiS]

@CFavocci @chelseahandler @TheDailyShow I'm just trying to be Christ-like. The Bible gives no indication that Jesus was married or had children, nor is there any evidence from reliable historical sources to give credence to such an idea.

[Angel Campey @YesReallyAngel]

@chelseahandler @TheDailyShow Did these revolting men stop for a split second to consider, that whilst many of us are happy with our decisions to have no children… some women are heartbroken about their inability to conceive - and their disgusting takes hurt those women?

I know they don’t care. Just 🤬

[Sammi Jo @SammoJiS]

@YesReallyAngel @chelseahandler @TheDailyShow This is so incredibly valid.

[Chelsea Handler @chelseahandler]

Any questions?

@TheDailyShow

[Nihilist Arby's @nihilist_arbys]

We told you the end of the world would be fucking stupid, and here we are.

Whoopity do.

Please remember to eat arbys

[Syrin @SpicySyrin]

Just two dung beetles, lookin pretty & dealing with a lot of shit @SammoJiS

[Sammi Jo @SammoJiS]

Bubbles is my patronus.

[Sammi Jo @SammoJiS]

@elonmusk has a future fetish. #provemewrong

[Sammi Jo @SammoJiS]

My kink is people who go to therapy regularly.

[Sammi Jo @SammoJiS]

@Moosewerk Yeah but his momma looks like so tsundere all I want to do is impress her.

[Sammi Jo @SammoJiS]

Omg why did NO ONE tell me how fire Momma Elan looks?! 🐍🔥

[Sammi Jo @SammoJiS]

@onewingangel94 I sincerely hope you do 🖤. It takes strength to admit your mistakes. I hope you move past what was said. This means not worrying about if you're forgiven. Your next steps are about YOUR growth.

Apologies in words are weaker than a change in your actions & attitude.

[Sammi Jo @SammoJiS]

@Moosewerk Yes please. 0/10 would decline offers for this food