Bobbert 🤝

I like drawing, horror and comedy. Left handed. My eyes (small and piggy) are hazel but I always say they’re green 👁👁 I was named after Samantha Fox.

[Bobbert 🤝 @sammyb36]

Yesterday my beautiful boy Kipper was put to sleep so allow me to share our greatest collaboration - he was always a stunner but for his breakthrough role as “pink dinosaur” he really went full “pink dinosaur” [listen with volume if you like sounds]
#nakedrat #jurassicpark

[Bobbert 🤝 @sammyb36]

You’re not gonna believe this but I’ve just tipped out three different vitamins (sorting my pill pot for the week) and each one tipped out EXACTLY SEVEN pills each. That’s pretty unheard of actually.

[Bobbert 🤝 @sammyb36]

My toxic trait is not giving a shit if my dress has pockets

[Bobbert 🤝 @sammyb36]

I’m here at Legs Bums & Tums. My arch nemesis (ginger) is here and I’ve got hairy knees

[Bobbert 🤝 @sammyb36]

Woke up with a half eaten triple chocolate digestive quite literally stuck to my naked flank this morning.

[Bobbert 🤝 @sammyb36]

Would asking everyone to stop being cunts be a reasonable work accommodation?

[Bobbert 🤝 @sammyb36]

I just had to explain who grimace from McDonald’s was to my bf so don’t let them tell you that age difference in relationships doesn’t matter.

“Oh I know the clown”.

Fuming.

[Bobbert 🤝 @sammyb36]

Saw a bloke the most intricate photo realistic tattoo of Captain Mainwaring on his calf.

[Bobbert 🤝 @sammyb36]

Had a big conversation last night, feeling pretty tense in general and you know how they say at night your brain is trying to process everything that’s happened during the day? I dreamt Homes Under the Hammer called my home town “Jizzney Land”

[Bobbert 🤝 @sammyb36]

I wouldnt mind a bleeper reel of all the Olympic funnies. Angry fencer, speedo clad swim cap retriever and I just saw a bee get involved in archery. All the classics

[Bobbert 🤝 @sammyb36]

How many juicy satsumas can a cute person eat in a day before it’s a medical emergency?

#bringingithometoenglandboysoioi

[Bobbert 🤝 @sammyb36]

I’ve got a FREE ticket to Luke McQueen and @marksilcox show Songs with my Father tonight at @sohotheatre is anyone’s interested? Starts at 22:15

[Bobbert 🤝 @sammyb36]

Bf didn’t get me a Singles Day gift this morning 😤 #toxicmasculinity

[Bobbert 🤝 @sammyb36]

Was just reading some comments under a post about a murderer and someone wrote “he’s a piece of work”.

[Bobbert 🤝 @sammyb36]

You HAVE to create a brand for yourself 💁‍♀️

[Bobbert 🤝 @sammyb36]

Was gonna make some sort of crass “your mum” joke relating to “bone” being a euphemism for “willies” or “sex” but actually threads isn’t the place

[Massimo @Rainmaker1973]

The bearded vulture is the only known animal whose diet is almost exclusively bone

[read more: https://t.co/qB0mtM0TqT]

[Bobbert 🤝 @sammyb36]

Nailed it.

[Bobbert 🤝 @sammyb36]

Let’s get this over with: sammyb36 on threads.

I’ve yet to post cos I’m waiting for a great really profound thought that no one’s ever said before and I’m only gonna post smart stuff. Not gonna disgrace myself again no way.

[Bobbert 🤝 @sammyb36]

Dreamt about sharks and sharks eating people x

[Bobbert 🤝 @sammyb36]

Brian Cox and Graham Coxon are not the same persons.

[Bobbert 🤝 @sammyb36]

Gonna have a tofu katsu curry for second breakfast (a chaser for this mornings left over McPlant) then sleep for the rest of the day. Panic attacks are really boguing my high lately. And also fucking my life up. Kicking my ass. And dillying my dally.