Sam Kolpien

somehow qualified to teach the youth of America

[Sam Kolpien @sammygk13]

why did this get recommended to me part 2:

[Sam Kolpien @sammygk13]

I truly would love to know which of my purchases led to this recommendation

[emgracedawg @emgracedawg]

happy 4th to our founding fathers

[Sam Kolpien @sammygk13]

HBD America

[Sam Kolpien @sammygk13]

4th of July AF

[Big Tucson Dad @BigTucsonDad]

I went to the silly goose convention and they all knew you

[Sam Kolpien @sammygk13]

My 9th graders were supposed to draw me in Pictionary and this is literally what one of them drew. This is what they think I look like. This.

[chris @BassoonJokes]

not much stuff is a graveyard smash these days

[Sam Kolpien @sammygk13]

I marry into a family and this is how they treat me???

[rachelle @rchlltrmn]

i hope this email finds you not mad at me

[lindsay lohan’s bitch @fila_beour]

I want to give off the same vibe as Robert Patterson by being very attractive but also very unhinged

[Sam Kolpien @sammygk13]

Chris just sang a moving rendition of Josh Groban’s “You Raise Me Up” as he took his first sip of a cold Diet Pepsi

[Sam Kolpien @sammygk13]

I let my lil drag queen cousin do my makeup and now I’m sitting at family dinner like this

[Sam Kolpien @sammygk13]

@lindsayyyharris @LilyBlack6 Idek who that is lmao

[bri @bigshitxtalker]

so you’re just gonnna use police brutality on protestors against police brutality at the police brutality protest

[Sam Kolpien @sammygk13]

In a shocking twist, my high schoolers are actually pretty relatable!!

[Sam Kolpien @sammygk13]

I just recorded a Tik Tok and then cut my own hair in our bathroom, so you could say I’m VERY mentally stable at this time

[Sam Kolpien @sammygk13]

Me telling anyone who will listen about Tiger King: