Sam Moir

[Sam Moir @sammymoir]

I wipe my hands on your decoration towels.

[James Tate @JamesTate121]

Since we’re not doing separation of church and state anymore, when can we expect the churches to start paying income taxes?

[m @msnetik]

omg someone in security is getting fiiiired

[Mike Bales 🫡🇺🇸 @MikeBales]

Why must air traffic controllers retire at 56, FBI agents at 57, and pilots at 65—yet politicians can keep making decisions for future generations until 90?

[Douglas A. Boneparth @dougboneparth]

It’s not a Sunday unless you completely waste it and then feel sad around 7:45pm.

[Schaff @SCHAFFr_]

thought this was the reflecting pool for a second

[S.🎧 @1ssve]

How do you professionally say “the new hire makes more than me and I trained them” in corporate?

[Alexander @omfuze]

At what age do yo meat stop growing cuz aint no way

[Chris Arnade 🐢🐱🚌 @Chris_arnade]

Soccer refs: We 3D-scanned all 1,248 players before the tournament, track every limb 50 times a second, and can confirm you are offside by a toenail. No goal.

Soccer refs: Added time? I'm thinking... seven minutes. Actually, ten. Could be twelve. Hard to say really.

[4quest.❤️🔱🖤 @thinkpiecetribe]

The New York Post treats Zohran Mamdani like how J. Jonah Jameson treats Spider-Man lmao

[Jonathan Slater @slater57649]

She’s living her best life

[𐌁𐌉Ᏽ 𐌕𐌉𐌌𐌉 @OrevaZSN]

To all the coffee shops that open at 10am and close at 3pm, who exactly is your target audience?

[BroWire @BroWire_]

The cameraman almost folded, but pulled it together at the end.

[Sam Sheffer @samsheffer]

bro this angle is EVERYTHING

[𝓒𝓸𝓶𝓶𝓪𝓷𝓭𝓮𝓻 🏴‍☠️ @c0mmandderr]

Mf look like the fake people in the crowd on NBA 2K

[سلطان @_su6an]

اليابان وصلت لمرحلة خطيرة من التطور في الاساليب التكتيكية

منظومة كاملة تعمل بدون توقف

[Cree @HakarisupremaC]

Everything this nigga does fries me bro

[☔ @Whotfismick]

when i'm having fun on a Sunday and it reaches 6-7pm

[COOLEE BRAVO @ItalianFiesta]

And I’m right in da middle if they both wanna get SIXTY ATE

[Fat Lenny @FatLennyLJS]

Thought I had that shit on around the huzz and one of them said I looked like Lois Griffin should I kms?