Sammy Smithson

Pacey 4ever

[Sammy Smithson @sammysmithson]

Am I the only person on this planet that did not realize the horrible “fancy like” song that is viral on Tic Tok was an actual Applebee’s ad? Like, I just thought it was a typical country song.

[Sammy Smithson @sammysmithson]

@griffin_fill Sorry, did you student teach at Woodboro High???

[Chris Jones @EnswellJones]

I'm a 9-hole golfer. The difference between 9 holes and 18 holes for me is the difference between a nice walk and a beer with my friends and hating everything about my whole fucking life.

[Drew Gooden @drewisgooden]

This is what I picture in my head whenever radio stations say they have “the best mix of 80s, 90s, and today”. It’s been today for 21 years. You can’t keep getting away with this.

[W. Kamau Bell @wkamaubell]

UNC-CH: “What are your qualifications for tenure?”

Nikole Hannah-Jones: “I have a MacArthur Fellowship AKA a genius grant.”

UNC-CH: “What else?”

NHJ: “A Pulitzer. The highest award for journalism.”

UNC-Chapel Hill: “Hmmm... Let me talk to my manager & see what I can do.”

[Old account. Follow @RobMeyerson @RobGMeyerson]

Funny how people always say “avoid that like the plague” and then the plague shows up and millions of people do very little to avoid it.

[Sammy Smithson @sammysmithson]

Tbh, after the year we’ve had I really could’ve used a Dolly Parton halftime show.

[Randy Rainbow @RandyRainbow]

I wish the horrifying assault on democracy would end so I could just get back to my devastating pandemic

[Sammy Smithson @sammysmithson]

Me: “We should have gotten a newspaper or something to save from the day.” Bobby: “What is this, 1980? I took a screenshot of Apple News, don’t worry.” #BidenHarris2020

[The Women's Organisation @TheWomensOrg]

Vice President of the United States 🇺🇸

How it started How it’s going:

[Michael Beschloss @BeschlossDC]

We did not know Presidential winner for certain before midnight on election nights in 1960, 1968, 1976, 2000, 2004, 2016. No one should pretend there would be anything historically unusual if that happens again in 2020.

[Sammy Smithson @sammysmithson]

🙌🏻

[Netflix @netflix]

Say hello to your friends — again!

The Baby-Sitters Club is back in business for Season 2!

[Sammy Smithson @sammysmithson]

@Bailee_Arnburg @ohlivea_makaTe @KamalaHarris Could as easily have been referencing damage not in 2020. I think I’ll take that snafu over the shit show of the Trump admin. https://t.co/KeKqVaXjNm

[Sammy Smithson @sammysmithson]

@lilsmit625 ??

[J-Dubbs @Brotherwags]

One of these days, sure would be nice if the "Chris D'Elia-predatory-comedian-gross-piece-of-shit-type guy" was outed by a GUY who knows him... instead of 20+ WOMEN having to share online that he consistently tried hooking up with underage girls all over this country.

[Sammy Smithson @sammysmithson]

Um, they aren’t gonna count this. 🤷🏼‍♀️

[Jason MMRRRaz @jason_mraz]

Yay! Let’s do this.
@BernieSanders @People4Bernie

[Sammy Smithson @sammysmithson]

@merrittbam EXACT SAME THOUGHT

[Sammy Smithson @sammysmithson]

Morning Glory walked so The Morning Show could run.

[ICE T @FINALLEVEL]

I’m aware that a lot of the stuff I Tweet seems Cold.... Unfortunately That’s LIFE.

[Sammy Smithson @sammysmithson]

@lilsmit625 You got the first concert tickets as a Christmas gift, so