SJ

ig: sammyjayn3

[˖ Ridhima 𓂀 ݁˖ @ridhima_z]

i love when doctors say "avoid stress" like i can just unsubscribe from economy and become a decorative gargoyle.

[tife 🎀 @bolutifee___]

“can i call” no text the lies fuck nigga

[enzo @amaybetino]

me at 15 going downstairs for dinner after talking my 19 year old boyfriend out of killing himself

[𝒢𝒾𝓁𝒷ℯ𝓇𝓉 @AbakpaJob]

why does each person at the pharmacy take 15 minutes and then when i get up there it's over in 5 seconds

[Kita @kitakartel]

I used to think like this until I tried saying it myself, turns out it’s hilarious 😭😭

[Jæŷ;) @j4jayjay_]

Me pretending this is my first time hearing the tea because I can't expose my source

[☔ @Whotfismick]

when you deliberately didn't buy snacks to avoid snacking at night, but now it's night & there's no snacks

[Lazy @LazyJam]

I know there’s a lot of shit going on in the world atm BUT the move to that vacuum packed mince packaging seriously needs investigating

[issy🫧 @islamiyaaaah]

hate having a bad bitch on follow back like sis i ain’t even see you fr

[☥𝐋𝐞𝐧𝐧𝐨𝐱 @fw_lennox1]

Uber driver: *drops me off at the wrong location*
Me (shy): "This is perfect"

[.𖥔 ݁ ˖ 𝔻𝕒𝕚.𖥔 ݁ @Daijaku]

my neighbor be letting their children run around butt booty naked outside and i’m tryna figure out why.

[⚚Sage @belikesagee]

When you wake up late for work and don't even know where to start...

[Lauren @laurennUTD]

Here’s the important stuff while I’m at it:

Asda - Create your own pizza
Morrisons - Salad bar & fresh cream muffins
Tesco - Meal deal
M&S - Picky bits & cookies
Lidl - Bakery
Aldi - Knock-offs
Sainsburys - Clothes
Co-op - Salt and Vinegar crisps

(When are United back? 🫠)

[⋆ @lowkeyalbert]

I've reached the iPhone phase of having to carry my charger everywhere even with the phone at 100%.

[Freyy @Freyy_is]

so you open a book and you DON’T see the scenes like a movie??? you don’t feel like you’re inside the story?? you’re just… calmly reading lines??? can’t be me 😭

[Naniee.2x @Naniee2x]

I’m the easiest person to ragebait like please don’t say shit to me cause yes I am going to get mad

[Oxtail Pricing Specialist @simsimmaaz]

and this is why I say statistics are useless if you're not applying nuance and critical thinking to the numbers you're seeing