Sam Parsons

karate, weights, computers, cooking, eating

[Sam Parsons @samsamasma]

The answer will indefinitely be "no" if you never ask.

[Sam Parsons @samsamasma]

Why is my mom getting a spray tan to go to Minnesota for a family trip?

[Sam Parsons @samsamasma]

The new top 10 @myspacetom friends is how I pin my text messages.

[Sam Parsons @samsamasma]

Solitaire seems more difficult as an adult. I just lost 7 times.
Did I cheat more as a kid or what?

[Sam Parsons @samsamasma]

@FFToday How do you react if commissioner on week 3 changes rules? (I was playing against him and now rules changed I lost for last week)
Rule change is ok, but if it changes on Tuesday if he lost to me, seems unfair. #AskFFT

[Sam Parsons @samsamasma]

@amazon Alexa why do you keep canceling my timers and forcing me to research how to see history to deduct time left for my dinner? I trusted you and I should have just used my @Apple Siri or maybe even an egg timer. Why do I even pay for @amazonprimenow gypped

[Sam Parsons @samsamasma]

@elonmusk why am I experiencing a second degree burn from your product? I’m so much in support of you, but I just got really hurt. Please help. I still believe in you.

[Sam Parsons @samsamasma]

Is rock bottom when you go to @tacobell and you make the person say “you’re hurting my head”

[Sam Parsons @samsamasma]

Just got my cert. in Cali last weekend for my 4th ° grading in April in Canada for Seiwakai goju-ryu karate.

[Sam Parsons @samsamasma]

@mattrife you’re hilarious. I just got off flight Cali->ATx - got my 4th ° black belt in karate. The timing of your @netflix special is…so special. My funny thing-I accidentally got though security w/2 large hunting knives I forgot to take out of my carry on bag. Best wishes!

[Sam Parsons @samsamasma]

My boob massager will get here between 2 and 6 pm.

[Sam Parsons @samsamasma]

Is marriage so single people ain’t gotta do this”owning a house stuff” by themselves?

[Sam Parsons @samsamasma]

@LucioManzano25 @AsurionCares Yea and it’s not like you can go into a store bc they just tell you to call lol

[Sam Parsons @samsamasma]

Sometimes you have to pick up the nearest frame and dance with it. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Actually, this was part of the process of making myself a #shomen. It’s not complete yet (2nd pic) and I’m proud of it so far. #SamDoesKarate https://t.co/vaTU1D5Pd4

[Sam Parsons @samsamasma]

Just posted a video @ Austin, Texas https://t.co/hdwZSdKpFG

[Sam Parsons @samsamasma]

Just posted a photo @ Austin, Texas https://t.co/4ObtNz0R0d

[Sam Parsons @samsamasma]

How you doing today? ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Wanna ̶f̶i̶g̶h̶t̶ I mean talk about it? @ Austin, Texas https://t.co/kLUqlTQzrd

[Sam Parsons @samsamasma]

Sometimes when I sit down- for a split second I feel warmth and think “oh no...I just killed my cat”

[Sam Parsons @samsamasma]

Is this one better? ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Hope peeps weren’t too offended by my body in my bathing suit. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Side note: if I bussitted (is that a word) for real, you would all die so this is tame in comparison. https://t.co/FZGOn90Jik

[Sam Parsons @samsamasma]

Just posted a video @ Austin, Texas https://t.co/cSt0bvl9na

[Sam Parsons @samsamasma]

#PSA ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Jump with joy to do the things you don’t want to do bc pain releases endorphins and those feel nice. @ Austin, Texas https://t.co/sIUXuQX5ny