Sam Steele🇺🇸

“You pull off looking dumb the best.”

[Sam Steele🇺🇸 @samssteele]

Just spilled Dr Pepper on myself while laying in bed, luckily I’m toned enough that I could direct the flow right to my belly button for easy clean up

[Sam Steele🇺🇸 @samssteele]

Oofta, it’s been a long week 😅
#TGIF

[Sam Steele🇺🇸 @samssteele]

@jack_jsteele Not trying to be political but you don’t have the guts to throw a burger at the president, hilarious as that might be

[Sam Steele🇺🇸 @samssteele]

@jack_jsteele Dr p, milk, bitters, ginger beer

[Sam Steele🇺🇸 @samssteele]

I don’t think I’ve failed at anything more than going into Walmart for supper ingredients and coming out with only liquids

[Sam Steele🇺🇸 @samssteele]

Anyone that shows me this post when @Backseat_Luv drop their next album gets drinks on me

[Sam Steele🇺🇸 @samssteele]

No one reaches an academic flow state like me when pastor Josh puts up a map in church

[Sam Steele🇺🇸 @samssteele]

Skin is 500 degrees, yet I’m still cold. Nose is better sealed than fort Knox. Sprained shoulder. My head pounding more than a drum line. Coughing is taking years off my life and the packers just lost.

Uh yeah, I’d say I’m a little ticked off rn
☝🏻🥲

[Sam Steele🇺🇸 @samssteele]

RRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAHHHHHHHH
LETS GO CUBBBBBSSSSSSSSSSS
🟪🟨 🟪🟨 🟪🟨 🟪🟨 🟪🟨 🟪🟨🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

[Sam Steele🇺🇸 @samssteele]

Laying in bed
Wanted an orange
Went to Walmart
Bought one orange

What a world to live in

[Sam Steele🇺🇸 @samssteele]

Raining, window cracked, candle burning, Over the Garden Wall ON.

We are so back

[Sam Steele🇺🇸 @samssteele]

Actuaries are pre-cogs??

[Sam Steele🇺🇸 @samssteele]

Uh oh, Spotify DJ is tugging the steering wheel towards the trees…

Really hoping for the “Alright let’s switch it up to something upbeat!” soon

[Sam Steele🇺🇸 @samssteele]

In bed flipping myself over every 5 minutes like a pancake to get the mucus to go to the other nostril

[Sam Steele🇺🇸 @samssteele]

And Radiohead RAAAHHHHHH

[Sam Steele🇺🇸 @samssteele]

Uber driver got Korn blasting🤘🏻

[Sam Steele🇺🇸 @samssteele]

@jack_jsteele Actually infuriating how good you are at ts

[Sam Steele🇺🇸 @samssteele]

Walking through Lowe’s with my cowboy hat, looking tuff as heck but little do they know I’ve got claoiro blasting in my ears

#realmenlistentoclairo

[Sam Steele🇺🇸 @samssteele]

Walking down duff in only shorts and flip flops sipping a buzz ball is wild

Gonna be how I spend Father’s Day fr in a few years

[Sam Steele🇺🇸 @samssteele]

Favorite meal I’ve been making recently is 4 steaks 😋

HMU for recipe

[Sam Steele🇺🇸 @samssteele]

Currently sitting through the worst commencement speech I have ever heard.

Bro had been rambling on about his own company and AI for 15 minutes without context