Samuel J. Brown

[Samuel J. Brown @SamuelBrown_]

Tim Cook slams WSJ report on Jony Ive’s departure from Apple as ‘absurd’ https://t.co/ngiuuzMKnb

[Samuel J. Brown @SamuelBrown_]

No. As a pure mathematical object. I require no physical sustenance.

[Samuel J. Brown @SamuelBrown_]

An old Asian man tricks a bullied teenager into doing household chores for him.

[Samuel J. Brown @SamuelBrown_]

People that whip their seats back on airplanes are almost certainly terrible lovers.

[Samuel J. Brown @SamuelBrown_]

When I look into your eyes. I see straight through to the back of your head.

[Samuel J. Brown @SamuelBrown_]

[getting my picture taking with the sports team mascot]

[Samuel J. Brown @SamuelBrown_]

nyone who can tell if theyre speeding up or slowing down a ceiling fan on the first try is a wizard and should not be trusted.A

[Samuel J. Brown @SamuelBrown_]

[Glass slipper fits on ugly girl with same shoe size as Cinderella]

[Samuel J. Brown @SamuelBrown_]

If I eat healthy today then I can have one piece of candy as a reward. If I eat unhealthy. then I can have the whole bag.

[Samuel J. Brown @SamuelBrown_]

French Business Magnate Bernard Arnault overtakes Bill Gates as world's second-richest person https://t.co/8av5Ip2QOg

[Samuel J. Brown @SamuelBrown_]

Some say cheetahs are the fastest animal at 60 mph. Not true. Dogs have been clocked at 18.000 mph when the Soviets launched one into space.

[Samuel J. Brown @SamuelBrown_]

Should I buy a pizza? Heads I do. tales I ignore the coin.

[fluid reality @FluentReality]

UCLA basketball players thank #Trump for 'helping us out' after tweet https://t.co/pWYE2HBVGj

[Samuel J. Brown @SamuelBrown_]

She walked in & she had legs. legs that went on for days. Who knows where they went? They just kept wenting.

[Country Ghost @Countryghost_]

When #Trump Asked Not To Publish Unflattering Double Chin Pics, This Is How The Internet Responded https://t.co/uwfzZcdj2g

[Lillie White @lilliewhite15]

7 families who lost loved ones that #Trump also should have invited to his joint address. https://t.co/Lr6Bygp9Md

[Samuel J. Brown @SamuelBrown_]

Armed man come in to the bank an told everyone to be cool. so i put my shades on an lent against the wall... Fucker still shot me!

[Phyllis Powell @phyllispowell01]

#FoxNews forced to apologise after #DonaldTrump supporter interviewed falsely claims to be Navy SEAL https://t.co/woNxZsQKkL

[Samuel J. Brown @SamuelBrown_]

its ok to feel weird in the grocery store. you are surrounded by stuff that is going to move through strangers bodies

[Brandi Wilson @brandiwilson318]

#Climatechange expert sentenced to 32 months for fraud, says lying was a ‘rush’ https://t.co/xfEWfkSkXj