Samuel Tweed

I like hard boiled eggs. Cacophanous Olympian. American. Domestic Tourist.

[Samuel Tweed @samueltweed]

I got a letter from the external revenue service, and apparently now I have to pay 25% of the tariffs that are applied to Canadian imports because my grandmother was made in Canada.
25% of 25% is 6.25%.
6.25% of my net worth is -$4,375.
So I should be getting a nice check soon.

[Samuel Tweed @samueltweed]

@MeghanMcCain Do you think that your dad is able to do pull-ups now that he's in hell?

[Samuel Tweed @samueltweed]

@sostalksmoney Why did you put his name in quotes? Are you suggesting that's not his real name, or are you just reтarded?

[Samuel Tweed @samueltweed]

@thehoffather Israel is a terrorist state. They have always been a much greater threat to America than Iran.

[Samuel Tweed @samueltweed]

@deftonesrx @The_Real_Yay That's a good instinct, but he wasn't sued by the city, he was sued by the individual officers. The counter suit would be against those individuals. They would be personally responsible for paying damages.

[TheCompany™️©️ @The_Real_Yay]

#Repost #Afroman WE DID IT AMERICA 🇺🇸 GOD BLESS AMERICA 🇺🇸 LAND THAT I LOVE !!! FREEDOM OF SPEECH!!!!!!!!!!! Counter lawsuit is next? 👌🏽🗽⚖️🇺🇸

[Samuel Tweed @samueltweed]

@TheBabylonBee You guys are gayer than creamed corn.
Maybe don't sell yourselves out to foreign interests and people would actually care what you have to say.
You'll never be Americans.

[Samuel Tweed @samueltweed]

@RealSpikeCohen The lawsuit was terrible, but Afroman's suit was fantastic!

[Samuel Tweed @samueltweed]

@JoelWBerry How's that working out for him?
When you don't get paychecks from a foreign government, you have to make content that people actually enjoy.

[Aaron Day @AaronRDay]

There is no political solution, but if there was, this would be the closest thing to it.

[The Facts Dude 🤙🏽 @Thefactsdude]

NOW: Afroman celebrates right outside Adams County courthouse after winning big in his defamation trial

Afroman wins in unanimous fashion, defending his First Amendment rights against the Adams County Sheriff's Department.

Officers Pound Cake, Lick’em Up Lisa, and the boys better have their Kleenex’s ready because this man’s about to drop some bombs!

Freedom of speech!
Power to the people!
God Bless America!

[Samuel Tweed @samueltweed]

@MarkDod16784054 @BrandiKruse Ok biтсh

[Samuel Tweed @samueltweed]

@jeremykauffman I think if you're a brake guy and the driver decides to cruise down the road when you're not done reconnecting the lines to the master cylinder, it's alright not to ride in that car anymore, even if you used to ride in that car.

[Samuel Tweed @samueltweed]

Washington State needs a new governor in 2028.
Well... we need one now, but the next election isn't until 2028.

[Joe Kent @joekent16jan19]

After much reflection, I have decided to resign from my position as Director of the National Counterterrorism Center, effective today.

I cannot in good conscience support the ongoing war in Iran. Iran posed no imminent threat to our nation, and it is clear that we started this war due to pressure from Israel and its powerful American lobby.

It has been an honor serving under @POTUS and @DNIGabbard and leading the professionals at NCTC.

May God bless America.

[Samuel Tweed @samueltweed]

@GmorganJr It's not forever until we reach infinity... great logic fart knocker.
Americans are dying because of this war.
Don't have kids.

[Samuel Tweed @samueltweed]

@joekent16jan19 As a Washingtonian, I've had very few moments, if any, where I was able to say that I'm proud of a decision that one of our politicians made. I know that you're originally from Oregon, but still... God bless you good sir.

[Samuel Tweed @samueltweed]

@DrunkRepub I'd see what you're saying if it was 49 years, but 47 years is exactly the same threat as 17 years or 95 years.
If you have children, un-have them.

[Samuel Tweed @samueltweed]

@ThomasEWoods 32% of people who answer polls. The people who are building guillotines in their back yards aren't answering polls.

[Samuel Tweed @samueltweed]

@bennyjohnson Bro, you makin Bob Saget look hetero with those glasses.

[Samuel Tweed @samueltweed]

@scrowder You woke-right, Israel first, christ haters need to move to another country.