Samuel Zane

[Samuel Zane @samuelzane]

President Trump: If I order an Italian sandwich and say, "86 the banana peppers," no one thinks "shoot them." it means remove them. That guy is a turd wearing a tie.

[Samuel Zane @samuelzane]

I just entered this writing contest @winningwriters: https://t.co/rNIUQ5nfik

[Samuel Zane @samuelzane]

"I hand-washed my balls in the sink tonight because I thought my wife was going to surprise me with a Christmas B.J." -Anonymous me. I did that.

[Samuel Zane @samuelzane]

@saylahachey 👋👋👋👋😁😁😉 That makes me SO happy, love!

[Samuel Zane @samuelzane]

The nature of memory is a delightful mystery. I'm writing a memoir currently that I may self-publish through Kindle Direct Publishing, and some memories are so vivid that I can hardly believe it, and some that make me sad because I can hardly believe them! So, how is your memory?

[Samuel Zane @samuelzane]

@MeidasTouch Sheesh, that's their nominee?

[Samuel Zane @samuelzane]

Do you like Taylor Swift? I didn't think I would, but now I'm in love!

[Samuel Zane @samuelzane]

@saylahachey Of course!

[Samuel Zane @samuelzane]

I dig this publisher and I think you will, too!

Who We Are https://t.co/9ZvQTeZzAV

[Samuel Zane @samuelzane]

Have you ever had a dream in which you were checking a social media account? I know I've had at least 2 dreams like that.

[Samuel Zane @samuelzane]

Have you ever tried masturbating while driving? I did some crazy shit in high school!

[Samuel Zane @samuelzane]

I'm not participating today.

[Samuel Zane @samuelzane]

@saylahachey I'm not. Not doing anything. I guess I should go as the world's most boring man, the dreaded Borelord! LOL.

[Samuel Zane @samuelzane]

how's today going?

[Samuel Zane @samuelzane]

School shootings are happening far too often. So what do you want to get rid of?😀

[Samuel Zane @samuelzane]

@saylahachey I'm not married, don't think I ever will be that lucky...

[Samuel Zane @samuelzane]

@saylahachey I certainly can!!!

[Samuel Zane @samuelzane]

@saylahachey My hands shake cause of my MS and I "grabbed" a Hooter's girl's tit. GOD, life is fun!

[Samuel Zane @samuelzane]

Not a DAMN THANG is going on, twitter.

[Samuel Zane @samuelzane]

@saylahachey In my heart it's legal, too ;-).