samwise

no one likes a bragger but I've met Bill Murray.

[Alex Cole @acnewsitics]

My favorite sign.

[jewel @whateverjewel]

and just like that my parents aint gettin grandchildren

[2joser2loser @joserloser]

me: I’m going to disconnect completely today

also me:

[Cristian Gatti @cristiangatti99]

me returning to corporate america today

[samwise @samvong_]

I know I’ve watched 3 Harry Potter movies in the last 2 days but I promise I’m okay

[samwise @samvong_]

Why am I soooo good at parallel parking when no one is there to witness it

[Ambi @JerseyShade]

Me when I’m wfh and I send 1 email

[gabe bergado @gabebergado]

nobody:
me to my alien: so this is a crunchwrap supreme

[samwise @samvong_]

True crime is all fun and games til your man isn’t home and you’re paranoid of someone breaking in and getting murdered

[samwise @samvong_]

@zandoband0 🙋🏻‍♀️

[samwise @samvong_]

Gen Z thinks they’re so cool until they eat the paper off a fruit roll up bc they’ve never seen one before in their life

[samwise @samvong_]

The urge to ask the person sitting next to me in the therapy waiting area “so what are you in for” bc I can’t handle the awkward silence

[samwise @samvong_]

@pjazzzmna That gif is literally u

[trash jones @jzux]

“what’s stopping you from-” listen i am so so sleepy

[samwise @samvong_]

This is cute and all but can we get @rihanna back

[samwise @samvong_]

Me trying to figure out directions to a new place: oh that’s by the really nice chilis!

[Evil MoPac @EvilMopacATX]

Terrible fucking day to be a tree in Austin

[samwise @samvong_]

Hanging out w an old work friend and going through talking points in my head bc I’m scared I won’t have anything to talk about what mental illness is this

[Matt Margolis @ItsMattsLaw]

(completely overwhelmed) will do!

[samwise @samvong_]

You ever listen to old Spotify playlists and think “damn that John Meyer phase lasted way too long”