Sam Boy

[Sam Boy @samwoweezowee]

Toaster didn’t even toast I’m eating warm bread for breakfast

[Sam Boy @samwoweezowee]

When does working out become more fun than drinking

[Sam Boy @samwoweezowee]

I hope the people who decided every gas pump should have unmutable ads on it the whole time you’re getting gas are in hell

[Sam Boy @samwoweezowee]

@cherrrrypies___ No.

[Sam Boy @samwoweezowee]

Started drinking a little too early now I gotta pre rally so I don’t have to rally rally later

[Sam Boy @samwoweezowee]

@mia_yev Girl everyone else in the state is ready for it to be colder at this point lmao

[Sam Boy @samwoweezowee]

I keep saying “Sounds good” over text as if I heard you say fucking anything

[Sam Boy @samwoweezowee]

Cigarette companies fell off for like five minutes and then immediately came up with new shit to addict a new generation

[Sam Boy @samwoweezowee]

Juul hit my high school like the opioid epidemic hit Appalachia

[Sam Boy @samwoweezowee]

Wish I could go back in time right before I took the shot of malort last night and smack the shit out of me

[Sam Boy @samwoweezowee]

Not sure if the shot of malort after 10 beers was the best move on the board last night

[Sam Boy @samwoweezowee]

There’s something I gotta say I’ll let you know when I figure it out

[Sam Boy @samwoweezowee]

9 overpriced bourbons 9 unanswered phone calls to ex-wife 9 innings challenge

[Sam Boy @samwoweezowee]

9 vodka sodas 9 zyns 9 innings

[Sam Boy @samwoweezowee]

Dolly Parton made me proud to be a Tennessean and I’m gonna miss her a whole lot

[Sam Boy @samwoweezowee]

Wawaweewa

[Sam Boy @samwoweezowee]

@bobdyllybob You glitchen

[Sam Boy @samwoweezowee]

Ushfjsodoufhfkaososiufyfbdbsmkzfhtbrndj

[Sam Boy @samwoweezowee]

I can’t relate to these cats they’ve never done a drug in their lives

[Sam Boy @samwoweezowee]

Missing my ex-coworkers like a motherfucker rn