swag

nah, that ain't me

[second hand immaculate conception @alyxiaBewbs]

my gf told me to cum and when i did she said "i didnt say simon says" and started beating me up

[iris amelia @devoutposter]

I think the core problem is that lesbian events often sound like 200 level gender studies classes and gay guy events are like “Cocaine Thursdays<3”

[riisen @riisenlol]

when she has a praise kink but she's lowkey not that good at things

[kokonuts🦇 @kokonuts293]

This may be a virgin opinion as I am one but I genuinely cannot comprehend the idea of fucking to music and i want to know what the appeal is from people that have had sex

[🏳️‍⚧️Hazel-Bee Writes a Manifesto @MukkyWaffle]

#shortformcontent #doitforthevine

[stars⛓️🗝️ @BigGengarFan04]

She’s using me for my average dick and minimum wage paycheck and undesirable physique

[kuber @qubercolosis]

taking a condom off mid sex and putting a new one on like an f1 driver changing tyres during a pit stop

[xMoosex @xastupidx]

haven’t shaved all month so bush can be behind this one too

[alex @vicewater]

When you fail the relationship mission and the game over screen is a Lucia MacBook instagram story selfie

[alves @avalokteshvara]

primeira coisa que eu vo fazer quando lancar o gta 6 vai ser:

- ir pra uma boate gay e chupar 2 caras
- ir pra casa ligar o ps5 e jogar o jogo

[Mar 🌧️ @StarsBurning_]

faggot is such an auraless word. maricon conveys the meaning so much better

[valu @ahoraymastard]

soy therian y me identifico como caracol pq donde paso dejo las conchas llenas de baba

[Me & Who? @tagyourwho]

my girl coming home from bottomless mimosas

[tomato girl @visceraldream]

i felt insecure about this sexy video i sent a man shortly before he switched up his energy. my friend said well was your face in it? and i was like yeah, my face, tits, pussy, and ass. and she said Oh. the Big Four.

[Adam LQ-84i #EGOISTA @ADAM_lq87]

Ejercicios que debes evitar hacer en el gym con tu novia:

Press bronca
Remo en Tenemos que hablar
Extensiones de voces
Aperturas de Whatsapp
Curl concentrado de gritos
Pull en pelea
Elevaciones de tono

[Wessex Girlie @wessex_girlie]

Wikipedia vandalism bad but sometimes it's funny

[miles @milesdotgov]

(on the verge of tears, Holding my limp, defeated penis after sex) you’ve made him all fucking messy, and he’s soaked… goddamn soaked. He was so scared in there he threw up, too… What the hell is wrong with you?

[John Smith @johnsmithyson0]

No darling, I don't have dick "game". Women's pleasure isn't a fucking joke to me. I have dick strategic initiatives. I have dick KPIs.

[pagliacci the hated 🌝 @Slatzism]

“indians have been trying to scam each other with fake cow piss so cow piss experts are being called upon to personally taste every batch and ensure purity” is something not even the most racist person on this app could have come up with if you gave them carte blanche and five tries to come up with the most anti-indian joke they could conceive of