mat bentley

My drinking arm is healed! #BlackLivesMatter

[mat bentley @sandwichhands]

Just realized even @ ing him makes him more powerful. I guess I'll just keep popcorn handy while I watch him self immolate.

[mat bentley @sandwichhands]

A super kind Ukrainian family fleeing violence settled in the city I live in. If you could spare a few dollars for them it could make a big difference. Consider doing something selfless, I promise it feels great 🤗 https://t.co/z8c6hLSB07

[mat bentley @sandwichhands]

My Cheese Cake Factory Romance #bandnamesuggestion

[mat bentley @sandwichhands]

I both discovered the limits of "AI" and - deserved this 😔

[mat bentley @sandwichhands]

Texas, FL #bandnamesuggestion

[mat bentley @sandwichhands]

It's not about the journey or the destination. It's about all the freaking out and complaining.

[mat bentley @sandwichhands]

Throughout my life people have told me to be more of a man, and for whatever reason I think they're telling me to act more like Beetlejuice

[mat bentley @sandwichhands]

@Rubberduck203 Omg I was competing for a hiscore in this. Iirc I wasn't even coding the vulnerabilities into hosts, vms, containers, and apps. I was just walking around with a confetti Cannon with log4j written on the side of it 🙂

[Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien]

Just a reminder, guns don’t make awful Christmas cards, people make awful Christmas cards.

[mat bentley @sandwichhands]

Omg I would shove philly cheese steaks into my eye holes if I thought it'd work

[mat bentley @sandwichhands]

Hamburgey Helpner #bandnamesuggestion

[mat bentley @sandwichhands]

Broccolini is a hoax!

[Paul Scheer @paulscheer]

I’m never as succinct or as eloquent as this. I’m glad someone else is…

[mat bentley @sandwichhands]

hope the folks throwing $100k's at expensive hunting trips to kill endangered animals know they can just get 90%+ of that experience from swatting flies

[Jon Cooper 🇺🇸 @joncoopertweets]

OMG — the look on Matt’s face when he realizes what’s really happening! Priceless!! 🤣🤣

[mat bentley @sandwichhands]

Apocalypse survival tip: you can shake about 30-80 calories out of your keyboard.

[mat bentley @sandwichhands]

prove to me that the story about multiplying loaves and fishes wasn't about a time traveler with goldfish crackers

[Joan Cornellà @sirjoancornella]

New limited edition giclée prints available on Sunday 4 at 3pm (CEST)