Avery Sanford

professional at laying on the floor and drinking tea

[Avery Sanford @sanfrita]

Get you someone who makes you feel like big mama, even when you're feeling like lil mama

[Avery Sanford @sanfrita]

I'm pooping and can hear my grandma in the next room laughing at my whistling videos, I think I have finally found the true meaning of Christmas.

[Avery Sanford @sanfrita]

@britery @joshuar890 gotta know what kind of money we're talking about here, am I killing people over 4 billion won? maybe🤷‍♀️

[Avery Sanford @sanfrita]

me watching squid game

[Avery Sanford @sanfrita]

My bf just farted so loud the dog thought it was thunder and ran off, found him shaking with fear in the closet

honestly me too bud, me too

[Avery Sanford @sanfrita]

I told my mom I was reading pride and prejudice and she told me to stop reading "stupid" books. girl what?

[Avery Sanford @sanfrita]

A guy I know that tried to ask me out less than a year ago just got married I'm sick

[Avery Sanford @sanfrita]

If you're looking for a wholesome time take your pup to hHme Depot and all the old guys will show you their wallpaper pic of their dog at home

[Avery Sanford @sanfrita]

Did I just watch YouTube videos about why the Shrek 1 and 2 are genius and iconic for a whole hour?
....maybe

Did I enjoy every second of it and tear up a little?
.... absolutely

[Avery Sanford @sanfrita]

I have been informed that the traditional use is "smells like updog in here" so I apologize for the confusion

[Avery Sanford @sanfrita]

Have we done this one yet?

[Avery Sanford @sanfrita]

Living in Arizona got me wanting to go out back and hose myself down

[Avery Sanford @sanfrita]

I know my bf is a catch because of all the old ladies who have a crush on him

[Avery Sanford @sanfrita]

U post one math eqn on your snap story and every man that follows u thinks they need 2 respond 2 show u that they know what you're doing even though half of them aren't even right

[Avery Sanford @sanfrita]

What are you going to do about this? @POTUS

[Avery Sanford @sanfrita]

i got meatball on my mind @POTUS

[Avery Sanford @sanfrita]

Me: moving to Arizona
My tree in my new front yard: literally buzzing because it's full of bees
Me: save the bees 🐝💛⭐💫 they're harmless little babies
Arizona:

[out of context arrested development @casualarrested]

no HE NEVER understood the assignment

[Avery Sanford @sanfrita]

@mackncheese9 Wish I could answer this question unbiasedly but I just have scoliosis 🤷‍♀️

[Avery Sanford @sanfrita]

Stimulus: $1400

Me at balls