relacionamento é complicado pq ao se deparar com uma profunda ferida emocional especifica q era evitada a todo custo vc tem q arrumar um jeito válido de lidar com ela através do diálogo saudável ao invés de só ser passiva agressiva e evitativa e chorar sozinha no quarto depois
If I impacted someone so deeply that it traumatized them they're under no obligation to forgive me much less acknowledge my growth. And me deciding to be better actually makes me recognize that fact.
When I decided I actually wanted to live, instead of treating life like it was an audition for my suicide, I started small. I hunched over in the shower and whispered "I love you." I could barely speak it because the words immediately wracked me with tears. And I kept saying "I love you," until I stopped sobbing, and it only pinched me a little bit. I'd treat myself like a little kid who needed to be guided to see the world for the first time. I'd take myself on walks around the neighborhood and play upbeat music. I'd workout every day and feel my body, its stretch, its strength. I'd give myself permission to buy pretty things because I simply liked them—I was obsessed with practicality and my "aesthetic," which suffocated me so that I was surrounded by things I didn't even like. So I got the pretty dress that made me laugh nervously when I looked in the mirror. I bought the nice-smelling candle. I got the fuzzy pillow. I bought a jar of little plastic zoo animals at Target and then went to a party later that night. I'd tap people on the shoulder and then open my palm and offer them one. A little animal for them to keep. I slipped them in purses and pockets. I practiced saying thank you. "Thank you for this bed to sleep in. Thank you for the sunlight streaming through the window. Thank you for this delicious meal." In the stream of gratefulness I became aware that life was already there for me to enjoy. I pressed my hand to my chest and felt my heartbeat, and came to the realization the pulse and beat of my being was a part of the world, not separate from it.
i agree a lot of the fear around asking someone out really is just fear of rejection, which is extremely fair because rejection sucks. it’s pretty damn hard to be chill about it
but this is also a meme i care deeply about spreading - rejection is one of the costs of pursuing anything worthwhile! trying to make it painless is futile. sometimes it will hurt badly. the important thing is learning that the hurt is survivable
turns out you can be rejected, then feel awful for a while, and still be completely ok in the end. and if you learn how to move through it, it actually builds a deep inner strength within you that no one can take away. the heart is a muscle, after all
every time i’ve told someone i liked them, i felt so exhilarated. there’s something intensely life-affirming about speaking your truth. you are risking being known and expressing an honest curiosity toward another person. how beautiful that we get to care enough about people to risk hearing no
Being a lover girl had me in and out the hospital for heart and intestinal issues. Please learn the art of detachment and read the 48 Laws of Power and The Art of War by Sun Tzu. Thank you.
Bc it’s about respect.
I remember two years ago, I was hooking up with this guy I knew for a bit. I knew that was going to be a one time thing but I’ve always have said sex with him was AMAZING bc he didn’t treat me as a sex object.
We kissed affectionately. Before the session, we looked into each other's eyes while listening to music as he gently caressed my body with his fingers. Then we did the do. That’s when I discovered having a toy used during a session.
After we finished, we bonded over having bad lungs bc he had to use his inhaler and I had to put on my sleep apnea machine. And we cuddled for the rest of that night.
It was beautiful bc we had an understanding but still respected each other humanity.
"Aquel que quiere ser amado, debe querer la libertad del otro, porque de ella emerge el amor, si lo someto, se vuelve objeto, y de un objeto no puedo recibir amor". — Jean-Paul Sartre