Sara Johnson

Tennessee Born. Colorado Raised. North Carolina Living. Nurse.

[Sara Johnson @sara_e_johnson]

I always tell myself I'll only eat one Oreo and then I end up eating the entire package, a can of Pringles, and 7 cheese sticks. #oops

[Sara Johnson @sara_e_johnson]

*My patient at 3am*

Patient: you seen that narwhal puppy with the tail on his face?
Me: yeah I have
Patient:.....
Me:.....
Patient: you think it has a tail on its butt too?
Me:....I’m not sure ma’am but can I give you your Percocet?

#PaitentNurseConvos

[Sara Johnson @sara_e_johnson]

$SaraEConrad

[Cash App @CashApp]

Guys, it’s #SuperCashAppFriday. Wake up the kids. Call grandma. RT this with your $Cashtag to enter. You could win $100, $250, or $500.

For good luck, tag someone hairy.

Follow @CashApp to qualify. No purc nec. Void where proh. Rules: https://t.co/P3knshma0s

[Caleb Johnson @CalebJohnson61]

Also, Popeye's pickles are trash.

[Caleb Johnson @CalebJohnson61]

To everyone saying Popeye's Chicken is better, Chickfilla beats Popeyes annual sales at 5.7 million, while Popeye's is only 1.5 million. Chickfilla is only open 6 days a week. Let the numbers speak for themselves. #SilentMajority

[The Dodo @dodo]

This fuzzy little horse is smaller than a golden retriever 💖

[Sara Johnson @sara_e_johnson]

@NBCNews I feel like illegal immigrants coming in and taking/using taxpayer funded services/benefits is worse than some white girls missing out on their avocado toast for a few months but maybe that’s just me... 🍞🥑🤷🏼‍♀️

[Ben Ritz @BudgetBen]

Mathematically, this would be like me saying: "I'm going to buy a two-story house, a 70-inch 4K TV, and a brand new car — paid for by selling my brother's Xbox." 🤦‍♂️

[Caleb Johnson @CalebJohnson61]

The reason that #Kavanaugh’s confirmation is so controversial is really because the court has become something it was never meant to be.

[Caleb Johnson @CalebJohnson61]

Regardless of your political beliefs, this should give you at least a smile.

[Kayleigh McEnany 45 Archived @PressSec45]

It’s shameful that dems and the media exploited this photo of a little girl to push their agenda. She was not separated from her mom. The separation here is from the facts. Dems should join POTUS and fix our broken immigration system. #ChangetheLaws
https://t.co/Y6KrTp4Ulk

[Sara Johnson @sara_e_johnson]

@CalebJohnson61 3 more words, “with Zax sauce” and it’s a clear winner 😋

[Caleb Johnson @CalebJohnson61]

a man is only as good as his word

[Sara Johnson @sara_e_johnson]

If they can finish the stadium in a week and half for commencement, you can finish that 15 page paper by Friday.

#happyfinals #ENCOURAGEMENT

[edmPAC🎫🙆🏻‍♂️ @solovaso]

I just got pai....

[Ashley @i_walk_slow]

End of the semester got me feeling like I did when I went to see Infinity War after seeing only one superhero movie

[Sara Johnson @sara_e_johnson]

Its 2038. you go visit your kid at LU. a 40 foot statue of trump greets you as you drive onto campus. a chikfila is in each building. every weekend is CFAW. there is still no parking. https://t.co/2rlGvbBTiT