Sarah Smith

hold on hold on hold on her sister was a witch right and what was her sister a princess the wicked witch of the east

[ellewasamistake @ellewasamistake]

judge: do you swear to speak the truth and nothing but the truth

me: yes

judge: who do you like

me: omg dare

[☆ ‧dreamboy·˟͙‧̩̥l @LilNasX]

why is twitter always at its funniest when the world is collapsing

[Sarah Smith @sarahksmith499]

@TannerHench depends on the dynamic of that specific relationship

[Sarah Smith @sarahksmith499]

the AUDACITY my parents had to go vegan before i’m home for the holidays

[Sarah Smith @sarahksmith499]

i don’t normally post political stuff on here.... but no matter who wins this election avocados still taste like creamy chalk

[Sarah Smith @sarahksmith499]

and if you see me crying in the sac today no you didn’t

[Sarah Smith @sarahksmith499]

when your successful 24yr old sister’s bedtime is 10pm on a sunday night but you’re just beginning your 10pm nap on a classroom floor to kickstart your evening

[Sarah Smith @sarahksmith499]

@ chs remember that one time when we had “e-day” because of all the snow days and having assignments online for a day was the wildest thing that had ever happened and there was a news story on it and everything... wild

[Sarah Smith @sarahksmith499]

the painters in our house this morning as they heard me have a meltdown in the room next door

[Sarah Smith @sarahksmith499]

this made me WHEEZE

[𝖈𝖔𝖗𝖗𝖎 ⏾⋆ @okiecorri]

my serotonin when i crunch on a crispy fall leaf be like 📈 and then i just crunch crunch crunch my troubles away

[Sarah Smith @sarahksmith499]

sometimes i think i’m seeing stars in my dorm room but they’re just fruit flies

[Sarah Smith @sarahksmith499]

i was today years old when i found out your eyes can have freckles?? my left eye has a freckle??

[Benny Johnson @bennyjohnson]

President Trump went to pay his respects to Ruth Bader Ginsburg and Leftists threw a tantrum.

How disrespectful...

[Sarah Smith @sarahksmith499]

how have you been pronouncing “en route”

[Sarah Smith @sarahksmith499]

@WillKeating7 they’re*