When you’re walking alone at night and keep hearing a strange noise, thinking someone is behind you.. when it is, in fact, excedrin and tums rattling around in your very own fanny pack.
It’s like when a tree falls in the woods. If you make your going out with friends/crowded bar ig stories private and your wear a mask/social distance stories public, can you still get/spread coronavirus?? Yes. Yes you can.
In honor of 4/20 I’m going to do what I’ve been doing lately which is take an edible, forget, feel astonished that whatever I’m eating tastes SO amazing, remember and then get a monstrous case of the giggles. 10/10 recommend.
After spending so much time in jammies, I’ve decided I will exclusively wear moo moos when I reenter the public sphere (which let’s be honest was already my trajectory pre-quarantine).
As I explained to @thej0aquindead that it’s not that I don’t LIKE wearing white.. it’s just I’m clumsy and it’ll inevitably get dirty, I dropped a spoon on the floor which bounced and flew back up, splattering me with marinara sauce.
I think I’m witnessing two potential jurors have a meet cute at jury duty and it’s taking all of me to not clap my hands in excitement and stage whisper “FALL IN LOVE” at them.
When you’re attempting to spend a day doing Marie Kondo-lite and put on The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2 for background entertainment and end up a foot from the tv crying surrounded by stuff. #efficiency