zoob

most likely drinking coffee or wine

[zoob @sarahzoob]

@Classy_Harvey @theADust16 @brianne_bennett how did you know?!

[zoob @sarahzoob]

@brooke_weremy stay tuned to see if I get fired

[schmox @IvoryGazelle]

Kid: There’s a monster living in my closet

Monster: do you have any idea how expensive a studio apartment is in this neighborhood

[semi-metal alchemist @plantbboi]

100 level course prof: Attendance is mandatory, no phones allowed, 12 hours of homework/week, also we have 5 exams and one is in 9 days

500 level course prof: I illegally downloaded the texbook, I'll send you the link. text me if you need anything. Do you guys wanna go kayaking?

[Queen Quen @quenblackwell]

ally and aj: IT TOOK TOO LONG, IT TOOK TOO LONG, IT TOOK TOO LONG FOR YOU TO CALL BACK....AND NORMALLY I WOULD JUST FORGET THAT...EXCEPT FOR THE FACT IT WAS MY BIRTHDAY..

adolescent me: MY STUPID BIRTHDAY

[maddy @timesnewmaddy]

if i say i’m “running errands” it means i’m doing like one important thing and then i’m getting coffee and going to target

[ellie schnitt @holy_schnitt]

morning it’s already been a long day and i’ve only been up for 16 minutes

[matty @poastsbymatt]

*using Ouija board*

"hello, is there anyone there"

*Y*

*O*

*U*

*U*

*U*

*U*

"ah damnit this is a Soulja board*

[david @_elvishpresley_]

the world: [at the edge of apocalypse]

me: [oblivious, headphones on]

[Thoughts of Dog @dog_feelings]

sometimes. you have to spin in circles. to appreciate all that’s around you

[zoob @sarahzoob]

coffee tastes better in a bigger mug don't @ me

[Thoughts of Dog @dog_feelings]

gooooob morning. i am going to have. a great day. i haven’t figured out how yet. but that’s not important

[relatable @byreIatable]

I hate how your family stops giving you money on your birthday as you get older. Like I need it more now than I did when I was 7 Susan I'm starving

[Jim Halpert, Dunder Mifflin (Parody) @JimHalpert__]

It's not up for debate. This is the greatest video to ever exist. https://t.co/iBlzIDILO5

[Benjamin A. Vorwerk @bvorwerk]

Blood type: iced coffee