Sarcastic Quotes

the catastophic success..

[Sarcastic Quotes @sarcasmicstuff]

there could be a ghost aggressively breakdancing beside you right now and you'd have no idea

[Sarcastic Quotes @sarcasmicstuff]

11 pm: I think I might go to bed early tonight
3 am: lol

[Sarcastic Quotes @sarcasmicstuff]

you’re about as irrelevant as mean girls 2

[Sarcastic Quotes @sarcasmicstuff]

chocolate is made of cocoa which is made from plants.

therefore chocolate = salad

[Sarcastic Quotes @sarcasmicstuff]

IMAGINE IF SIMON COWELL WAS YOUR DAD AND YOU WERE SINGING IN THE SHOWER AND HE KNOCKED ON THE DOOR AND SAID “IT’S A NO FROM ME".

[Sarcastic Quotes @sarcasmicstuff]

"Fix your shirt, I can see your bra strap"

Because it’s a big secret right?

Secret boobs...

Secret bra...

Secret...

[Sarcastic Quotes @sarcasmicstuff]

i can’t hang out tomorrow i’m too busy doing nothing alone sorry

[Sarcastic Quotes @sarcasmicstuff]

My voice sounds great when I'm singing with my earphones on, Then I take them off and I realize I sound like a dying walrus.

[Sarcastic Quotes @sarcasmicstuff]

I just
really
really
really
really
really
really
really
really
really
really
really
really
really
really
don't give a shit

[Sarcastic Quotes @sarcasmicstuff]

i :) am :) so :) stressed :) about :) everything :) all :) the :) time :)

[Sarcastic Quotes @sarcasmicstuff]

u dont look like 200 likes in person

[Sarcastic Quotes @sarcasmicstuff]

everyone is getting into relationships and growing up and im just getting lazier and finding more tv series to watch

[Sarcastic Quotes @sarcasmicstuff]

hannah on the streets but miley in the sheets

[Sarcastic Quotes @sarcasmicstuff]

shine bright like the knife im gonna stab u with

[Sarcastic Quotes @sarcasmicstuff]

when people compliment me

its like wow

are you being for real

like bless you and your family

i hope all your dreams come true

amen

[Sarcastic Quotes @sarcasmicstuff]

I may look calm, but in my head I've already killed you 3 times, AND hid the body.

[Sarcastic Quotes @sarcasmicstuff]

When people ask me what's the one thing I'd bring to a deserted island, I think its pretty obvious... a fucking boat.

[Sarcastic Quotes @sarcasmicstuff]

I don't trust people who smile before 9 AM.

[Sarcastic Quotes @sarcasmicstuff]

Attractive girls are always the most insecure. While these Shrek looking bitches, walk around thinking they're the shit.

[Sarcastic Quotes @sarcasmicstuff]

Behind every great woman, is a guy checking out her ass.