queen of nothing

[queen of nothing @sarcasticINTJ]

"Because I said so"
-me, like 50 times today

#parenting #parentfail #momlife #momofboys

[queen of nothing @sarcasticINTJ]

Well, these bad life decisions ain't gonna make themselves.

#weekendtwitter #vodka #drankin

[queen of nothing @sarcasticINTJ]

Thanks, but if I needed someone to micro-manage my life, I'd date my mom.

[queen of nothing @sarcasticINTJ]

I didn't choose the nerd life, the nerd life chose me...

[queen of nothing @sarcasticINTJ]

But, is it still narcissism if I'm actually better than everyone else?

#intj

[queen of nothing @sarcasticINTJ]

It's 10 pm and I've been in bed reading for an hour. No, I'm not sure when I turned 100...

[queen of nothing @sarcasticINTJ]

If I had time to doodle in an adult coloring book, I wouldn't have a reason to destress.

[Skinnie Talls @SkinnieTalls]

My tweets are funnier if you have something wrong with you.

[Aimee Helene @AimeeHelene1]

I'm being all romantic in honor of National Cheese Day today...

*places cheese slices all over the bed*

[queen of nothing @sarcasticINTJ]

@BuxsterMan if you check out the list of people I'm following, they're all awesome

[queen of nothing @sarcasticINTJ]

I stayed up late Friday night watching documentaries in my pajamas.

No, I'm not sure when I turned 100.

[queen of nothing @sarcasticINTJ]

I caught feelings earlier... Hungry is a feeling, right?

[queen of nothing @sarcasticINTJ]

Look, if I wanted to date a married man, I'd go home & work shit out with my husband.

[Anti @blablubleh]

Her: If we dated, we'd probably argue all the time.
Me: Would not.

[queen of nothing @sarcasticINTJ]

@LFC5times2015 does @Peter_Dinklage know this?

[queen of nothing @sarcasticINTJ]

@LFC5times2015 I'm low key in love with him anyways

[Mark @NoticablyBacon]

Girls like guys that are good dancers because it demonstrates the ability to please the gods to summon rain for a bountiful harvest

[queen of nothing @sarcasticINTJ]

I fell in love once... Worst two days of my life.

#intj #single #divorce

[queen of nothing @sarcasticINTJ]

I'm torn between thinking my toddler is a genius and wondering when exactly geniuses learn to eat a gogurt without help.

#momlife #intj