𝐵𝑖𝑛𝑔, 𝐶ℎ𝑎𝑛𝑑𝑙𝑒𝑟 𝐵𝑖𝑛𝑔

— ❝ 𝐴𝑛𝑑 𝐼’𝑚 𝑡ℎ𝑒 ℎ𝑎𝑝𝑝𝑖𝑒𝑠𝑡 𝑔𝑢𝑦 𝑖𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑙𝑑 @erraticchef ❞ —

[𝐵𝑖𝑛𝑔, 𝐶ℎ𝑎𝑛𝑑𝑙𝑒𝑟 𝐵𝑖𝑛𝑔 @sarcastichoot]

❝ 𝐼’𝑚 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑔𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑡 𝑎𝑡 𝑎𝑑𝑣𝑖𝑐𝑒, 𝑐𝑎𝑛 𝐼 𝑖𝑛𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑒𝑠𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑖𝑛 𝑎 𝑠𝑎𝑟𝑐𝑎𝑠𝑡𝑖𝑐 𝑐𝑜𝑚𝑚𝑒𝑛𝑡 ? ❞

’ 𝐶ℎ𝑎𝑛𝑑𝑙𝑒𝑟 𝐵𝑖𝑛𝑔 --

-- 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑠𝑎𝑟𝑐𝑎𝑠𝑡𝑖𝑐 𝑓𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑛𝑑 ’

♡+↻

[𝐵𝑖𝑛𝑔, 𝐶ℎ𝑎𝑛𝑑𝑙𝑒𝑟 𝐵𝑖𝑛𝑔 @sarcastichoot]

Oh no. . . And the devil quakes

[𝒥𝒶𝒸𝑜𝒷 ‘𝒫𝒾𝓃𝑒𝒶𝓅𝓅𝓁𝑒𝓈’ 𝒫𝑒𝓇𝒶𝓁𝓉𝒶 @gcniusdetective]

❝ 𝑇𝑖𝑡𝑙𝑒 𝑜𝑓 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑠𝑒𝑥 𝑡𝑎𝑝𝑒 ! ❞

An independent portrayal of Jacob Peralta. Brooklyn nine nine RP- crossover friendly. Literate. Descriptive. Crack/banter. Another voice of #madness

♡+↻

[𝐵𝑖𝑛𝑔, 𝐶ℎ𝑎𝑛𝑑𝑙𝑒𝑟 𝐵𝑖𝑛𝑔 @sarcastichoot]

— 𝐺𝐼�� 𝑆𝑇𝐴𝑅𝑇𝐸𝑅 𝐹𝑂𝑅 @_REGlNAPHALANGE —

‘ What did you say? ‘

[𝐵𝑖𝑛𝑔, 𝐶ℎ𝑎𝑛𝑑𝑙𝑒𝑟 𝐵𝑖𝑛𝑔 @sarcastichoot]

— 𝐼𝑛𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑎𝑐𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛𝑠 𝑤𝑎𝑛𝑡𝑒𝑑

♡ 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑎 𝑔𝑖𝑓 𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑟𝑡𝑒𝑟
↻ 𝑡𝑜 𝑠𝑝𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑑
♡+↻ 𝑡𝑜 𝑝𝑙𝑜𝑡 𝑖𝑛 𝑑𝑚𝑠

—

[𝐵𝑖𝑛𝑔, 𝐶ℎ𝑎𝑛𝑑𝑙𝑒𝑟 𝐵𝑖𝑛𝑔 @sarcastichoot]

— 𝐺𝐼𝐹 𝑆𝑇𝐴𝑅𝑇𝐸𝑅 𝐹𝑂𝑅 @forgetsorders —

‘ I was riiight ‘

[𝐵𝑖𝑛𝑔, 𝐶ℎ𝑎𝑛𝑑𝑙𝑒𝑟 𝐵𝑖𝑛𝑔 @sarcastichoot]

‘ I won’t eat in your apartment anymore. I don’t like this Monica! ‘

He called out after her, pointing his finger dramatically towards the door of the apartment

[𝐵𝑖𝑛𝑔, 𝐶ℎ𝑎𝑛𝑑𝑙𝑒𝑟 𝐵𝑖𝑛𝑔 @sarcastichoot]

�� well wheres the fun in “oh- i can’t eat if im not over the sink” at Monica’s. ‘

He said with a small scoff. He knew he would regret that soon enough

[𝐵𝑖𝑛𝑔, 𝐶ℎ𝑎𝑛𝑑𝑙𝑒𝑟 𝐵𝑖𝑛𝑔 @sarcastichoot]

‘ that and sodas and wine and beer and cookies. This is why our apartment is the fun apartment ’

He wasn’t joking either, but he spoke with a joking tone.

[𝐵𝑖𝑛𝑔, 𝐶ℎ𝑎𝑛𝑑𝑙𝑒𝑟 𝐵𝑖𝑛𝑔 @sarcastichoot]

‘ I was just drinking my morning coffee- I didn’t think it was a crime ‘

He raised his hand in self defence , taking a step back

‘ it’ll be fine- I’m never eating in your apartment again ‘

[𝐵𝑖𝑛𝑔, 𝐶ℎ𝑎𝑛𝑑𝑙𝑒𝑟 𝐵𝑖𝑛𝑔 @sarcastichoot]

He woke the demon. He jumped back at the scream

‘ oh no- i just- i wish I was dead? ‘

Cue some nervous laughter

[𝐵𝑖𝑛𝑔, 𝐶ℎ𝑎𝑛𝑑𝑙𝑒𝑟 𝐵𝑖𝑛𝑔 @sarcastichoot]

‘ the normal kind? ‘

He said with an exaggerated hand gesture towards the door of her apartment

‘ Just move the carpet around, the couch will cover it. it’ll be fine! ‘

[𝐵𝑖𝑛𝑔, 𝐶ℎ𝑎𝑛𝑑𝑙𝑒𝑟 𝐵𝑖𝑛𝑔 @sarcastichoot]

He hoped his little trick would work

‘ well why don’t you go clean it then. Less focus on the cause and more on the stain Mon ‘

He said as he lightly pushed her across the hall

[𝐵𝑖𝑛𝑔, 𝐶ℎ𝑎𝑛𝑑𝑙𝑒𝑟 𝐵𝑖𝑛𝑔 @sarcastichoot]

‘ you sounded mad- it’s just self defence. There are no strings on me ‘

He moved the frying pan behind his back as if to hide it. Even if his tone was playful, he started to sweat nervously

[𝐵𝑖𝑛𝑔, 𝐶ℎ𝑎𝑛𝑑𝑙𝑒𝑟 𝐵𝑖𝑛𝑔 @sarcastichoot]

But it 𝑑𝑜𝑒𝑠 because that’s my name.

[𝐵𝑖𝑛𝑔, 𝐶ℎ𝑎𝑛𝑑𝑙𝑒𝑟 𝐵𝑖𝑛𝑔 @sarcastichoot]

It’s uh- It’s Chandler, there is no Chester here

[𝐵𝑖𝑛𝑔, 𝐶ℎ𝑎𝑛𝑑𝑙𝑒𝑟 𝐵𝑖𝑛𝑔 @sarcastichoot]

He stares blankly at her for a few moments trying to decide is he lies or is he tells the truth

‘ No. . . ? ‘

He regretted that choice

[𝐵𝑖𝑛𝑔, 𝐶ℎ𝑎𝑛𝑑𝑙𝑒𝑟 𝐵𝑖𝑛𝑔 @sarcastichoot]

Cue a sigh. He armed himself with a pan before opening the door

‘ oh hey- is that a new shirt ? ‘

[𝐵𝑖𝑛𝑔, 𝐶ℎ𝑎𝑛𝑑𝑙𝑒𝑟 𝐵𝑖𝑛𝑔 @sarcastichoot]

Oh- no you’re remembering that wrong.

[𝐵𝑖𝑛𝑔, 𝐶ℎ𝑎𝑛𝑑𝑙𝑒𝑟 𝐵𝑖𝑛𝑔 @sarcastichoot]

Chandler- Monica’s husband? Y’know, the fun one?

[𝐵𝑖𝑛𝑔, 𝐶ℎ𝑎𝑛𝑑𝑙𝑒𝑟 𝐵𝑖𝑛𝑔 @sarcastichoot]

He hides under the counter

‘ no thank you ‘