Spratte

life is better without a bra

[Spratte @sarrpratte]

Crocs are the real gateway drug

[Spratte @sarrpratte]

The CDC says if there’s not enough masks nurses can just hold their breath while providing care to patients

[Spratte @sarrpratte]

There’s been an increase in crime where I live. I wonder when the government is going to ask the police to volunteer on their days off

[Spratte @sarrpratte]

@Rutty_91 🥺🤍

[Spratte @sarrpratte]

“I’ll have a double 7up”
“Uh please serve me, I’m not drunk I’m just stupid”

[Spratte @sarrpratte]

I’m the kinda girl that changes out of a light tracksuit to a dark tracksuit before I eat soup because I really don’t trust myself

[Spratte @sarrpratte]

MAKE IT MAKE SENSE!!!!

& by it I mean life

[Spratte @sarrpratte]

Me: calls myself an independent woman

Also me: brings a full jar of jam to work cause I need help opening it

[Spratte @sarrpratte]

Did a mans really send me a fb tic tac toe request and say “you win you get $200, I win I get a naked pic of you.” Sir it is 7am on a Sunday

[Spratte @sarrpratte]

@Mcparland91 Not hereee

[Spratte @sarrpratte]

When I was little our carbon monoxide detector starting going off in the middle of the night and my dad got us while mom rushed to put makeup on before the firefighters arrived

[Spratte @sarrpratte]

How do you cope with growing up?

[Spratte @sarrpratte]

Once went to a strip club that had all-you-can-eat pasta and I just want to know why that’s not more common??

[Spratte @sarrpratte]

squeezed lemon into my coffee instead of my water if you wanted to know how my morning is going

[Spratte @sarrpratte]

do not ask me if I am scared of what’s in the vaccine. I used to dive head first into a ball pit at a nightclub

[Spratte @sarrpratte]

I just know that couples who call each other “king” and “queen” have holes in their drywall. Don’t try and convince me otherwise

[Spratte @sarrpratte]

4am laying in bed wondering if One Direction will ever have a reunion tour

[Spratte @sarrpratte]

The closest I’ll ever get to hell is working on a GROUP paper

[Spratte @sarrpratte]

Do less to be loved by others and more to love yourself