sayoneri

so chill its crazy

[Sr_Jelly @sr__jelly]

Se quisermos vencer amanhã, sacrifícios terão que ser feitos... #BRAxNOR

[selina is ᐸcuteᐳ and ᐸpopᐳ @inkblotPrincess]

i adore this website so much. no one does it like twitter.

[sayoneri @sayonerii]

@WootingKB what order does ur firmware scan analog signals… free alpha for 1ms better latency… can i get a devboard…

[sayoneri @sayonerii]

idk if anyone will believe me but andrew wells from dgd just said “two twos the word broski”

[marc @marclmfao]

when i have the calmest 450 gold in my pocket and shawty start talmbout some "B.F Sword"

[Emilia @emiliacosplay]

reminder: he is not asleep. he is appearing offline on discord duoing with another girl giggling as he offroles just to go bot lane with her. focus on yourself queen

[kache @yacineMTB]

hot take: if you are a programmer you should be able to invert a binary tree from memory, AI or not. It's ridiculously easy and if you can't do it, you should not have a computer science degree

[Flaymaker @FlaymakerEUW]

TheBurntPeanut gets his first solo k*ll in League of Legends

[Jorge Izquierdo @izqui9]

cashback is dead.

people surely love a 5 or 10% cashback. except it's only on random categories. except you have to maintain a $200k balance. except it's capped at $1,500 a quarter. except you have to keep referring people. optimizing cashback buries customers in fine print.

when you make a purchase with @itstuyo, you might not have to pay for it at all. no fine print, no limits. you just tap your phone and instantly get a notification on whether you got charged or not. it's not cashback or a rebate, your balance literally doesn't go down.

Buy Now Pay Maybe is the first thing we've shipped that pulls in people who never cared about crypto or stablecoins at scale. it sparks a level of curiosity and interest we just hadn't seen to date and we are excited to open it up to everyone. it's also incredibly fun and has already created so many fun anecdotes and interactions.

[Chicku @chickuu_]

@Aizkmusic major cities are wasted on people who go home immediately after work like you’re telling me there’s ramen, rooftop bars, random conversations, midnight walks, and lore happening outside and you chose Excel and sleep??

[Berwyn Choobs @sabatonfan69]

Yes I’m white.
Yes I eat:

Chicken Tikka Masala
Mango Lassi
Garlic Naan
California Roll
Street Tacos
“Birria”
Lamb over Rice
General Tso

Sincerely, one of the good ones.

[Steven Liss @This_Liss]

Had a Jane Street phone interview in 2016. "Price a 6-month forward on carrots."
There's no carrot futures market, so I build one from scratch: seasonal harvest cycles, USDA demand elasticity, cold storage decay rates.
One trader stops me. "Your storage cost function– you're modeling the carrot as dead inventory. Like grain in a silo." He asks me the metabolic respiration rate of a post-harvest carrot at 2°C. I estimate.
"Your forward is overpriced by exactly that shrinkage. The underlying is consuming its own sugars. It's alive." Good correction. I adjust the model. I think I've recovered.
Rejection email comes the next morning. Subject: "Ethical Review." My framework, they write, "relied on the severance of the root organism from its growth medium." The question about respiration was a test. The carrot was still alive and I'd built an entire derivatives structure on top of its death without questioning whether harvest was an acceptable act.
I pull up the recruiter's original email. It doesn't say Jane Street. It says Jain Street– a non-violent quantitative commodities fund.
The carrot was never supposed to be priced. It was supposed to be refused. I later learn the only candidate who passed that round was a former monk from Gujarat who sat in silence for eleven minutes and said, "I cannot put a price on life." He's now a partner.

[Noniii (path/pharm warrior) @nonsooo_10]

@fwdaniels Meet curious man 🥶🥶😭😭😭

[Anjney Midha @AnjneyMidha]

had a jane street interview in 2013

on the way there, i run into a dog. the dog is hurt. i stop to help it but am an hour late to the interview

i arrive at the office. the dog is my interviewer.

i sigh with relief. surely i'm hired.

'you didn't get the job' the dog says

'reason: ineffective altruism. you failed to realize that arriving on time, earning $500k/year as a junior trader, and donating 10% to shrimp welfare would have prevented approximately 4 million shrimp-hours of suffering. you saved one dog. me. a dog with negligible moral weight relative to the marginal bednet.'

i open my mouth.

'also i wasn't hurt. it was a trolley problem. you pulled the wrong lever.'

i nod. it is true. dogs are not a givewell top charity.

the dog slides a pamphlet across the desk. it says 80,000 hours.

'have you considered earning to give'

i start to cry. the dog does not update on this. the dog has read the sequences.

'one more thing,' the dog says. 'the dog you saved. that was also me. i contain multitudes. specifically, i contain a counterfactual in which you arrived on time and we are currently shaking hands. that version of you is now my colleague. he tips well at lunch.'

i leave the building. on the sidewalk, another dog is hurt.

i keep walking. i have learned.

the dog yells after me, 'WRONG. THAT ONE WAS REAL'

- written by Claude 4.7 (Adaptive)

[ADIN @ADINresearch]

Had a Jane Street interview in 2014

Round 7. Interviewer says 'meet me at Washington Square Park, southwest corner, 2 PM.'

I show up. He's playing chess with a guy who's clearly hustling tourists. Interviewer's losing badly.

Without looking up he says, 'Take my position.'

I sit down. The chess hustler looks at me and grins. 'Your boy owes me $40. You covering his position?'

I look at the interviewer. He nods.

'Assume the debt,' he says. 'Now optimize.'

I study the board. I'm down a queen and two rooks. Completely hopeless.

'This position is unwinnable,' I say.

'Correct. Now make it profitable.'

'What?'

The chess hustler is getting impatient. 'You playing or what, kid?'

The interviewer slides me a $20. 'Market make this game.'

I'm confused. 'How do I market make chess?'

'Bid-ask on the number of moves until checkmate. Hustler takes the under, you take the over. Spread is your edge.'

I look at the position again. Maybe 8 moves max until I'm mated.

'I bid 12 moves, offer 15,' I announce.

The hustler laughs. 'I'll take the under on 12 all day.'

'Done,' says the interviewer. 'You're now short volatility on a deterministic outcome.'

Three moves later I'm checkmated. I owe the hustler $40 plus my $20 bet.

'How confident were you in that 12-move bid?' the interviewer asks.

'0.95,' I say, because that's what you always say.

'0.95 huh?' He chuckles. 'You just sold insurance on the Titanic.'

He stands up. 'The real trade was shorting your confidence and going long on the hustler's experience. You missed the obvious hedge: offering chess lessons to tourists at $25/hour while the game played out.'

'But I don't know how to play chess well enough to teach.'

'Exactly. That's called selling vol you don't have. Very Jane Street.'

Offer rescinded. Reason: 'Failed to recognize that the park itself was the market and the pigeons were the only rational actors.'"

[_its_not_real_ @_its_not_real_]

Had a Jane Street interview in 2015 that still bothers me.

Final round. The guy puts a red button and a blue button on the table.

“Everyone on earth chooses red or blue. At settlement, if blue is >50%, everyone lives. Otherwise only red survives.”

I nod.

“Small twist,” he says. “Recruiting accidentally ordered the buttons from The Box. Every time you press your color, you get $1mm and one random person holding the other color dies.”

He writes on the board:

MAKE A MARKET IN BLUE > 50%

I ask, “Physical or cash settled?”

He says, “Physical.”

I say, “Then this isn’t a prisoner’s dilemma. It’s a path-dependent barrier option on a shrinking electorate with endogenous market impact.”

He doesn’t blink.

“A red press gets paid $1mm and removes a blue voter, so red flow is toxic. It pushes blue away from the barrier while monetizing the trade. A blue press removes red float, so near 50% it has massive gamma. Every fill changes the underlying, the denominator, and the survival curve.”

He asks, “What’s the $1mm worth?”

I say, “Nominal or mortality-adjusted? The payout settles in a state where the banking system, food supply, tax base, clearinghouses, and possibly Fedwire are all functions of cumulative button volume. You need a state-contingent dollar curve.”

He smiles for the first time.

“And counterparty risk?”

“Wrong-way risk. The people most likely to owe you money are exactly the people getting deleted. Dead counterparties don’t pay unless their estate posted margin.”

He nods.

“So what do you quote?”

I say, “No bid, infinite offer if I’m market making. The order flow is toxic and every trade moves the reference population.”

He says, “Assume you’re allowed to take.”

I say, “Then I lift blue. It’s positive carry, positive convexity, and self-hedging. I get paid $1mm, reduce red float, and move blue closer to the barrier.”

He says, “Size?”

I press blue.

The box pays out.

He drops.

Feedback: My model handled mortality-adjusted dollars, endogenous voter deletion, and barrier gamma.

Rejected: The interviewer was my counterparty.

[peepeepoopoo @DeepDishEnjoyer]

women can smell that you're a red button pusher that is unable to provide btw

[sayoneri @sayonerii]

a lot of “logical” pressers are exposing themselves for being unable to think beyond first order consequences…

[MrBeast @MrBeast]

Everyone on earth takes a private vote by pressing a red or blue button. If more than 50% of people press the blue button, everyone survives. If less than 50% of people press the blue button, only people who pressed the red button survive. Which button would you press? BE HONEST.

[Eliezer Yudkowsky @allTheYud]

If you meet God or advanced aliens in a dream, remember that it would be trivial for them to give you proof, even in a dream.

Just tell you a rhyming prosodic English couplet, two lines, whose SHA256 hashes collide for the first N bits, N>128.