Sarah Geraardvark

Complainer, Joke Maker, Worker (she/her)

[Sarah Geraardvark @sazmax66]

Hallmark Christmas movies elected Trump.

[Sarah Geraardvark @sazmax66]

@SquidWithKnife God I miss the old greats.

[Sarah Geraardvark @sazmax66]

I just looked in the mirror and felt like such an asshole, and then realized my hair was just parted wrong.

[Von Drake Institute Of Social Pathology @StupendousGrav1]

@MaxKennerly We are inches away from kids being banned from seeing Footloose.

[Sarah Geraardvark @sazmax66]

@StevenJLovelace @Joshstrangehill When I finally saw streetcar at the theater I started uncontrollably laughing at “STELLA” and it was very inappropriate

[Sarah Geraardvark @sazmax66]

@TryingMyLuck @Joshstrangehill Springfield Springfield! It’s a helluva town!

[Sarah Geraardvark @sazmax66]

@mental_floss Oh damn! I thought it was for tay-sachs

[Sarah Geraardvark @sazmax66]

I’m sad my dog won’t live forever but I’m so happy I don’t have to feel guilty about her future being ruined by global warming or active shooter drills.

[Sarah Geraardvark @sazmax66]

@KXAN_News

[Sarah Geraardvark @sazmax66]

@Jheri_Seinfeld I want to be a cool

[Sarah Geraardvark @sazmax66]

@KXAN_News The lines for car washes all over town today are wild!

[The Recount @therecount]

Update: The death toll from the earthquake now stands at more than 6,200, as Turkey’s death toll increases to over 4,500. https://t.co/rU7XX0nRNg

[Sarah Geraardvark @sazmax66]

@NicLAF @Grubhub Food that is meant to be served with rice should include rice. It’s dangerous for your gut otherwise!

[Sarah Geraardvark @sazmax66]

Bumble BFF has the option for “out ‘n proud” but none for “in ‘n ashamed” so I’m not sure how to describe myself.

[Sarah Geraardvark @sazmax66]

@Jheri_Seinfeld Is it the booty or what

[Sarah Geraardvark @sazmax66]

@Tiller729 No we are not. Squash that now.

[Sarah Geraardvark @sazmax66]

When I saw the first one, I said it was like the director was saying “this is what would’ve happened if Native Americans were right.” It’s fully offensive from the start.

[Sarah Geraardvark @sazmax66]

I’m always surprised when “we all die alone” doesn’t cheer someone up. It’s very comforting to me.

[Zach Kornfeld @korndiddy]

I tried to argue that Hallmark-style Christmas movies are inherently republican propaganda and it’s the most viscerally upset my friends have ever gotten but ya know what I STAND BY IT

[Sarah Geraardvark @sazmax66]

@SquidWithKnife Sure, if she’s hot enough