This week had hands. Nothing I worked on put out any positive outcomes. Nothing worked. I closed my laptop in defeat and bawled my eyes out. Ha ke so lle hakaalo ke setse ke le mong Ka hara office 🙌🏼🙌🏼
I got a call on a Sunday afternoon. It was a friend of mine who has been living with depression and suicidal ideation. In the call all he said was "Dude, I am not fine. I am losing it".
He didn't need to say more. I told him I am coming over and the first thing we are doing is checking in his firearm at the police station and then we can sit and talk. He lives about 1h30mins away and when I arrived he had already handled the firearm part. I won't say where he lives because that 1h30m will show that I was avoiding a funeral more than I was avoiding speeding tickets.
His wife was not around for the weekend so it was me, him and his kids. We left them watching TV and went to sit by a corner. We talked. About everything besides the call he made earlier.
Not because I wasn't curious but because after living with depression too I know that I don't always want a questionnaire. Or explain triggers that don't make sense. Or explain that sometimes I don't even understand why I feel that way I do. In fact, he was going through some of the best few months of his life when he made that call. New house, business going well... To the outside world he didn't "qualify" for depression.
The elephant in the room was there but we were laughing. I think the elephant was laughing too.
Months later he made a facebook post about that moment and we could joke about it now. Publicly. Not knowing that the simple act of sitting in that corner talking about shit was exactly why he called.
Too often when a low point in depression hits, we feel like we are talking to people we have to qualify our state to. People who mean well. But I don't know why I want my world to end. And even if I do, it is not always this great big thing that most people would think "Okay, it makes sense why you feel this way".
The other reason for this is that depression, like any illness, wants to live. It will do whatever it can to survive. Depression lies to you and tells you that you're a burden, that nobody actually cares and that reaching out will only make things worse. It's not avoidance. It's the illness doing exactly what it's designed to do. Live. Make you isolated.
And he actually is right about being a burden because he still hasn't reimbursed me for my petrol. Umuntu feeling suicidal nge mampara week knowing he lives in another province 😭 Ngiyayifuna imali yam ye Petrol na ma Tollgate 😭😭😭
I love it! The only time they get to have a little bit of excitement is hatewatching Arsenal.Not even their teams gets this much attention from them and it's truly remarkable. Like no matter how much Arsenal can try, they can't get it out of their head. Absolutely exhilarating 😊
ICYMI: Lebo M on his new wife and actress and artist Nomoya Refiloe Dube
Grammy award-winning composer Lebohang “Lebo” Morake was briefly engaged to American woman, Tatiana Dixon also known as Besso.
He has since ditched the American and had an alleged shotgun wedding with Mpumalanga beauty, actress and recording artist Nomoya Refiloe Dube also known as Moya.
According to a sources close to the couple, they met in the USA while Moya was stranded in the US.
“She was signed to Asanda Empires, under Sony but they parted ways while she was in the US. This is where she met Lebo, and they got married.”The source revealed how pleasant Moya was.
Prrior to dumping Besso, Lebo M proposed to her after he breaking things off with Malefu “Mel” Ntsala just three months after he proposed.
“He is smitten by Moya. She is quiet, ladylike and very submissive. Besso on the other hand was overly confident.”
Hailing from Nelspruit, Mpumalanga, Moya began her artistic journey in television, capturing audiences with her talent and later started making music, just before meeting Lebo M. Moya has collaborated with notable artists, including B Taylor, who has worked with hip-hop icons Snoop Dogg and Flo Rida. Moya has had small acting roles on The Queen, Tbe River and Lingashoni.
https://t.co/uv927GYJGH