Sam Newland

Mommy. Employed. Taken. Life Liver.

[Sam Newland @sbearnew13]

Does anyone else shave their armpits while their mom drives them to work?

[Sam Newland @sbearnew13]

@jeremy_humphrey @JoeFBHW That’s my favorite book!

[Sam Newland @sbearnew13]

@AdamaruR

[Sam Newland @sbearnew13]

My worst fear has finally came...I’m caught up on every podcast I listen to...

[Sam Newland @sbearnew13]

@Courtre Morbid!! @AMorbidPodcast It’s the best!

[Sam Newland @sbearnew13]

Breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon? This is why I became an adult.

[Sam Newland @sbearnew13]

@AMorbidPodcast Maybe a man?

[Sam Newland @sbearnew13]

Work. Check! Deep Conditioning treatment on my hair. Check! Fall out of the shower rinsing my hair. Check!

[Sam Newland @sbearnew13]

I mean I’m not gonna brag but @ashkell83 from @AMorbidPodcast liked one of my comments

[Sam Newland @sbearnew13]

@ashkell83 You may be my spirit animal!

[Sam Newland @sbearnew13]

It’s a podcast binging monday!

[Sam Newland @sbearnew13]

So sleepy. Maybe I will forget this day and go back to bed

[Sam Newland @sbearnew13]

Ima true crime obsessed lady - not because I’m terrified of the crimes - but because I find it interesting. Not that anyone asked

[Sam Newland @sbearnew13]

Check this out : https://t.co/lM5ej4fE5L. If you like subscribe if you have a story you know or wanna here fill out the form

[Sam Newland @sbearnew13]

@jeremy_humphrey @freebeergregg @hotwingsfbhw @NoPHinSteven @FBHWJoe @kelly_cheese 1000000%

[Sam Newland @sbearnew13]

Chain hang to my ding-a-ling is probably the best line of a song ever

[Sam Newland @sbearnew13]

Woke up. Still not famous. Going back to bed

[Sam Newland @sbearnew13]

Day 2 of @Sprint ruining my dad #overit #gettinganewcellprovider

[Sam Newland @sbearnew13]

Sprint made my husband VERY UNHAPPY. Which he is taking out on me. So now Sprint has made me BERY UNHAPPY. @sprint you guys kinda suck

[Sam Newland @sbearnew13]

My response to finding out my sons teacher’s wife is pregnant “are they catholic?” Because that’s the only solution to someone being pregnant