I suppose the why really doesn’t matter at the personal level.
But the drive to “become” is more a desperate grasp at what reconciling with what is and what “really” is for me personally
a sort of personality dysmorphia quite detached from reason or status - the discomfort caused by the difference feels more like inauthenticity than insecurity.
I was mostly being sarcastic about the lack of self actualisation being remotely simple source of suffering to remedy
But I suppose it’s also one sided to assume the extrinsic pressure on men is any more demanding than the intrinsic roles women have thrust upon them biologically.
I could just as easily argue a man can chose to be a loser but women cannot realistically choose to exit their reproductive role to walk more safely down a dark street on a given night.
Or that women at times mistake the necessary confrontational nature of human survival demonstrating compassion where it’s maladaptive in instances where their perceptive tendencies are taken to the extreme
It’s a argument that works both ways and both be true depending on where the primary locust of control lies for a particular individual